Q and A with Cora fromNorth, South Carolina, living in Lexington, South Carolina
“If you have the right people in your life, then you are richer than you know!”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I’m passionate about helping other women find their strength again. I know how hard it is to start over and I want to help women get back on their feet again. I also love to be outside, going on adventures of all kinds, listening to music and dancing. I’m as goofy as they come, but I’m a true, loving friend and a person who cares for everyone I meet.
My company is Coras Cleaning Solutions CCS LLC, and my mission statement for my company is to help other battered women get out of bad relationships that hurt them and be able to get back on their feet.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I modeled for Elite Modeling for 5 years. I was a wild child, always outside, always going on adventures, and always pushing buttons. My upbringing was the normal Christian kind: always have to behave, always use manners, etc. Even though I was the wild one, I am still respectful.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I want others to know that no matter how hard it is to walk away, you can walk away and find that strength again! I learned that no matter how hard life gets, if you have the right people in your life, then you are richer than you know! Speak your truth, tell your story, and reach out to those who need it the most! Always be kind.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: I’m not much of a feminist, but I do believe that we are the strongest species when we find our truth and our calling! We have a voice and that needs to be heard. I think that when we have other supporting women in our life we can do anything together.
MORE ABOUT CORA: I’m a single mom of two beautiful sons who are my world. I got divorced four years ago, and it’s been a rough journey, but I know I will be ok! Even though I come from a rough past, I treat others how I want to be treated.
Q and A with Dr. Carmela fromAruba, Netherlands Antilles, living in Jacksonville, Florida
“I was mostly ‘the only one’ across my career. The only Black woman. I’ve led in places women were not supposed to lead. I worked in places where I was in charge, and people walked past me to someone who was white; they were unable to wrap their heads around having to come to me. I’ve led in places where other leaders refused to sit next to me.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I’m Dr. Carmela Nanton and I am currently passionate about two things: leadership (women’s leadership specifically), and diversity and inclusion. These passions crystallized in me over the years spent in the workplace and around the world. Founder and CEO of Carmel Connections Inc., an award-winning author, educator, and program designer, I have worked locally and traveled globally developing 2,500+ leaders and managers in leadership and cross-cultural competency, in 100 cities and across 14 countries. I have also curated and led leadership development intensives using the world as a classroom.
The award-winning books in the Hard-Wired to Lead women’s leadership series focus on power secrets, the code of silence, and reconstructing leadership culture. The series is framed in the domestic violence behaviors and empathy deficiencies that are prevalent in our society and mirrored in the workplace leadership culture, showing up as abusive undiscussable behaviors like underrepresentation, persistent wage gaps, being passed over, sexual harassment, sexism, and gender bias against women. Especially those who are ambitious and hard-wired to lead.
I also host the Talk4Leaders Podcast focusing on women’s leadership undiscussables and personal or professional challenges. My current focus is working on facilitating the Hard-wired To Lead – Smart Executive Women’s conference series, to help companies create inclusive cultures, and with women as executives and entrepreneurs as they make their personal powershifts to 1) accelerate their careers to go after that promotion, 2) reposition their knowledge and skills to expand to another career or company, or 3) reinvent or reimagine themselves or their purpose into company ownership and making a better life for themselves and family.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I was born in Aruba, and am the third of seven children, the second of two girls, so I learned I had to ‘fight’ my way through and speak up for myself if I was going to be heard. I had my first gender-based argument at around 11 years old, with an exchange student and have been advocating for women’s equality ever since. Our parents raised the girls to be independent and self-sufficient, and I’m grateful for that to this day. We did not know we were poor, but we had hand-me-downs and a lot of fun. My early education was in Dutch, I was passionate about music, played violin in HS and College orchestras, was a soloist, sang in choirs, including acapella, and was a choir and drama director. I loved the idea of traveling the world and did so vicariously by voraciously reading any books I could find, (I even was caught reading in class on occasion).
My spiritual side was developed early. I had my first opportunity to teach a class of peers as a teen and my eclectic religious upbringing resulted in my being twice ordained and licensed in two denominations. Teaching showed up in organizations as training and development of staff and professionals and educating leaders worldwide. Education was always critical and important in our family, and I took education and learning to heart adding valedictorian and other credentials to my experience. One of those was in biological science that evolved into transfusion medicine specialist, coordinated an FMA continuing medical education program for physicians, nurses, pharmacists, and state re-licensure programs for allied health personnel. I received a community service award for developing the largest donor program county-wide. Masters in human resource/organization development and counseling psychology; board certification as executive leadership and business coach; and an earned doctorate in organizational leadership and adult education round out my educational preparation. I taught leadership, multicultural leadership, and management at the university level for more than a decade, ultimately receiving the legacy top black educator award, and two nominations for the Who’s Who of Teachers awards.
I played sports, still love sports, and am highly competitive, yet teamwork, skill diversity, and collaboration are vital if we want to win. Being the underdog and winning against the odds is also a pattern in my life. I led my first winning teams when I was a teenager -against the odds. I’ve led in companies and was fast-tracked with promotions to leadership positions -against the odds. I combine knowledge, business intelligence, and expertise to coach, train, and bring value to others.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I was mostly ‘the only one’ across my career. The only Black woman. I’ve led in places women were not supposed to lead. I worked in places where I was in charge, and people walked past me to someone who was white; they were unable to wrap their heads around having to come to me. I’ve led in places where other leaders refused to sit next to me. Then there were the places where people sought me out to find out if I was ‘real,’ because they didn’t think they would ever see a woman of color hold the positions I held. I traveled to places where they had never seen a Black woman in person and where some tried to rub the brown off my skin. The leadership positions were held in healthcare, for-profit, not-for-profit, government, education, the church, and on Boards. Here’s some of what I learned over time that I want you to also learn from reading my story:
My voice was given to me at birth, it authenticated my life’s existence. In communication, it is my expression of personal power and leadership impact as I use it for strategic advocacy, sparingly, with wisdom.
Diversity is inherent in everything and should be celebrated through our bodies, our interests, our perspectives, our gift mix, in people and in the environment. Diversity must be leveraged as a business imperative if companies truly want the competitive edge, the profits, the best decisions, and global leadership advantage.
Women can and do lead anywhere they are given opportunity, and companies do better when their C-Suite includes women.
Introverts make great leaders; they don’t just talk -they think and do.
After working in life-and-death situations with zero tolerance for errors (because they literally could kill) I learned that quality wins out over quantity and speed every time. Speed is important -don’t get me wrong’ but not to the point where corners are cut, and steps are skipped.
I had to be a lifelong learner, so I try to learn something new every day.
Know your circle and be strategic about your network connections. There are those whose eyes light up when you enter a room, who want to help you. There will also be others who will refuse and even overtly thwart your advancement. Connect with those who are doing what you want to do or who can help you grow to your highest potential. Everyone needs a coach and a mentor; I am one of them and I have them.
Always stay true to your values, know when to say “No,” take care of yourself so you can add value from your overflow, and remain in alignment and in integrity in your purpose and practice.
We are all gifted in something. Don’t let others put down your accomplishments or cause you to hide your achievements just because they don’t have them or to make them feel better. Follow your dreams -they don’t go away.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: I stood at the same debate desk as Benazir Bhutto at Oxford Roundtable, UK, heart racing, as I argued for women’s leadership and the burden of proof. They said I was a feminist. To me, feminism means being able to be authentically me in a world that does not intentionally misrecognize me based on their systems and categories of where they think I belong and what they think I can do. Rather, it means being accepted and granted equal opportunity without having to break through the discriminatory glass-, concrete-, money- and gender-biased ceilings women who are ambitious and hardwired to lead have had to deal with for decades. Simply put it means removing the invisible but impenetrable limiting barriers that block self-determination and full unimpeded actualization of my healthcare rights, personal power, leadership potential, and possibilities. As. I. Am.
It took me a while to figure out that it’s not about hiding who we are as women so that we can fit into the prescriptive spaces society (and men) create for us, but playing full out using the gifts that are unique to me as a woman. It means shining my light without the ever-present, ever-oppressive ‘burden of proof’ that hangs over the heads of accomplished women even though the evidence of her competence is clear. Feminism to me means creating an inclusive world that does not require us to be twice as good, twice as educated in the ‘masculine’ skills while the competence bar of opportunity is continually raised, and the goalposts constantly moved to keep them unattainable for us. The power of ‘feminine’ or soft skills is increasingly vital to business success in a global society. We still don’t get it that when women thrive, everyone thrives. Feminism to me means being equal, and self-determining, recognized as competent leaders, broadly experienced, deeply knowledgeable, yet fully feminine and phenomenal all at the same time with our society and world celebrating and fully accepting of who and all that I am.
MORE ABOUT DR. CARMELA: I have been married for 34 years, have three children (a son and twin daughters), and grandchildren. I enjoy nature, iced macchiatos-straight, vanilla ice cream, traveling, and music.
Join my Facebook group: Facebook.com/groups/executiveacceleratorgroup for executives, leaders, entrepreneurs, and anyone who is thinking about transitioning their careers into businesses.
*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.
Q and A with Claire, from Olongapo City, Philippines, living in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
“You must be able to accept all the choices you made in life, forgive yourself for all of the mistakes you’ve made, move on, and just grow from it.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I am a very creative person, so I love to create and visualize things. As a photographer, I am very passionate about capturing the beauty in every person and showing the world their true beauty. I often tell my clients my job is to show the world your true beauty and the beauty you have never seen in yourself before. I do not take pictures; I capture memories and I save them for you. As a life coach, I am very passionate about helping women find their voice, strength, and beauty while overcoming past hurts. With faith in God, I help women and anyone in need fill their God-given purpose in life. I developed these passions solely based on my life experiences on earth; it is what drives me to be the best I can be, so I can help more people in the world. I am currently in the process of finishing my 6 weeks program (Release, Reflect, Release, and Restart), my women’s empowerment BBBM website/blog page, and my book, Broken But Beautifully Made, which is based on my story, the stories that birthed my women’s empowerment platform.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I grew up in a 3rd world country, the Philippines. Life was very simple, yet hard. My mom did her best raising 3 daughters as a single mother. I grew up in an environment that is all about family. All our relatives were always around and we did everything together…birthdays, holidays, and just simply hanging out after school and eating (Miryenda) afternoon snacks in Tagalog. Mom raised me as a God-fearing woman; I was very active in my home church in the Philippines. I was a worship leader, youth leader, and a vacation Bible school teacher for the kids. I have always been very passionate about helping others and making a difference…no matter how big or small it is. I graduated high school at the young age of 15 years old and college by 16. I love learning, reading, and just trying to become the best version of myself. I saw struggle at such a young age that I promised myself I would do whatever it took to be better than I was yesterday.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I have learned a lot of lessons from everything I had gone through in life. The one lesson that I find very valuable to me is understanding that it is not selfish to care for yourself first and to set healthy boundaries in your life. I learned to put God and myself first in everything I do in life. I learned to love me for who I was, for who I am now, and who I am to become. This is the one lesson I want anyone to learn from my lesson. You cannot love or help others if you are unable to do that for yourself. You must be able to accept all the choices you made in life, forgive yourself for all of the mistakes you’ve made, move on, and just grow from it.
Q: What does feminism mean to you?
A: Feminism for me is fighting for equality for women. Seeing us not by our gender, but by our ability to perform just as any other person can.
Q: Is there anything else you would like to share?
A: I am married to my amazing husband of 10 years now; his name is Richard Torres. We have one fur baby kitty named Mew. We have lived in NM for 11 years now, but my husband was born and raised in Albuquerque, NM. I am also working on getting my bachelor’s degree and only have 2 years left. I will be graduating with a bachelor’s in business administration with a concertation in project management. I am also publishing my first book in July 2020. I will be coauthoring with 10 other amazing women for a devotional book called The Heart of God for Her.
I am a creative entrepreneur specializing in life coaching and professional photography. As a certified life coach, I specialize in transformational coaching with a keen focus on breaking harmful patterns and overcoming guilt and shame. With a compelling backstory of my own, I am very passionate about helping women find their voice, strength, and beauty while overcoming past hurts. With a backdrop of faith in God, I help women and anyone in need fill their God-given purpose in life. I founded Broken But Beautifully Made Women’s Empowerment Platform in March 2019; God has had this mission in my heart for 2 years. I created BBBM as a platform that allows women to speak, share, and see that she is not alone! I have overcome many trials and tribulations in my life that allows me to relate with other women and to testify how God saved me every single time…As a coach my mantra? “I help you release, reflect, refocus, and restart—Are you ready?”
*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.
Q and A with Deasha, Manchester, United Kingdom
“You do not have to have tons of money. You do not have to have knowledge or experience. If you have enough drive, ambition, and vision, then you can create any life that you want.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I am passionate about helping female business owners to leverage their time and scale their impact and income. I love taking care of the planet and recycling and exercising as much as possible, which is why I work with women that have similar values and want to create a life of freedom for themselves.
I manage a business called Social Treats. Social Treats is a social media management and coaching business. We help wellness entrepreneurs to build organic strategies that really help them to get more reach, engagement, and think outside of the box to reach their target clients.
I wrote a book called She Did It. This book is about me, the story of how I struggled with creating a life that was different from the norm, how I overcame imposter syndrome, and how I focused on creating a life that is different, unique, and on my terms. And I want to help other people do the same.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I am a traveler at heart and that is because of my father. Together, we have traveled a lot of the world. My dad is more than happy to stay in hostels, ride on night buses, and go volunteering. I spent 5 years traveling and working and learning about myself and the business I was capable of running. I knew that I wanted to create a path for myself that was different from others, that did not tie me down to a location, and that did not have me working a strict schedule and that allowed me freedom.
I think my favorite place to travel with my dad was Costa Rica. We spent New Year’s Eve in San Jose (had our passports stolen from the hostel) and went to a monkey park to volunteer to rehabilitate spider monkeys. It was so much fun and so different from most people’s father-daughter holidays. And my favorite place that I’ve visited on my own is Thailand. I have spent so much time there, and the people are just amazing—plus the food is to die for!
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: You do not have to have tons of money. You do not have to have knowledge or experience. If you have enough drive, ambition, and vision, then you can create any life that you want.
And some tips for helping the world is just to be more conscious with every decision you make, take a refillable bottle and cup with you everywhere. Try to recycle or reuse anything you have, and try to reduce the amount of plastic you have in your bathroom. Do you need to buy all that shampoo and conditioner or is there a local place where you can refill your bottles and not have to buy more plastic?
Q: What does feminism mean to you?
A: Feminism is the freedom of choice—to choose how you live your life and to not be defined or put in a box by anyone.
Merry Christmas to all of our readers who celebrate the wonderful holiday of Christmas! And warm wishes and Happy Holidays to our readers around the world who may or may not celebrate other holidays. In the spirit of today, December 25, Christmas, we’ve collected 25 “gifts” for you. These “gifts” are 25 life “gifts” that cannot be bought with money, and they are “gifts” mentioned by our featured women on The Woman Wednesday Blog. Enjoy!
Family. They might not always be there, so appreciate the time you have with them. “Three years ago, I lost my Dad to cancer and that has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever been through. He was gone 3 months after his diagnosis. My family and I barely had time to process one piece of information before being hit with something new. It rocked my world losing someone so close to me.” ~Jessica M., Maryland
Friends. True friends are there for your ups and downs, successes and failures. They like you for the person you are, and they cannot be bought.
Love. True love is one of the most beautiful and magical aspects of life. Of course, it cannot be bought!
Positive mindset. You can make today a good day or a bad day. It’s all about your mindset.“I learned very early on that I could either be a victim of circumstance or I could take those challenges and grow from them. I try really hard to be a force of positivity and a problem solver.” ~Melissa, Utah
“If you don’t believe in yourself first, you will fail every time. So for me, first and foremost is get your mindset right in the beginning, and set the foundations to build an amazing life for yourself and stick at it! The only way you will stick at anything is self-reliance, discipline, and self-belief.” ~Carly, Melbourne, Australia
Moral support. Whether giving moral support or receiving it, being there for someone does not cost a thing.“He was so understanding of my situation and was like the perfect puzzle piece to the kids and I.” ~Lisa, Canada
Giving back. Giving our time to others is one of the greatest gifts we have to give, whether we are making dinner with our family, visiting a grandparent or old friend, or volunteering for a good cause.
Hard work. It feels good to know hard work.“I have learned that nothing comes easy that is worthwhile, and this is where hard work and grit comes in.” ~Sarah, Washington
Success. When you finally achieve what you set out to achieve, there is no other feeling like it!
Independence. “Be you, stay you, do you. There is no one like you and the moment you appreciate that about you, the rest of the world will!” ~Maria Tan, Philippines
Passion. “Passion is what makes you persevere through setbacks, unhappiness, and fear of failure to achieve your dreams. It is the core drive of your motivation.” ~Ashlee, Florida
Proving haters wrong. “People will judge you, try to change you, try to break you, and even try to stop you. But that is all in the process of getting to the top!” ~Felissa, Georgia
Health. We don’t have full control over our health, but what we do each day matters. If you are able to get out of bed right now, that is a gift. “The doctors told me I might never walk again. When you’re faced with that kind of news, you have a choice—accept what you’re being told or try and do something about it.” ~Kezia, England
Exercise. People would pay big money to live longer. Here is one FREE way to live longer: exercise! Though it may be difficult to get started, exercise has amazing benefits! The studies don’t lie; exercise can make you live longer! So, if you are able, find something you like that gets your body moving! If you have the ability to move your body, that is a gift.
Creating. Creating something with your own hands feels amazing. Create a story, a poem, a drawing, build something. “Don’t be afraid to put your work out there. It’s very daunting at first, but it’s so rewarding when people read your book and tell you how much they love it.” ~Dee J. Stone, Surname authors in USA
“Whenever you feel completely disappointed, desperate, and that life is completely pointless, turn to that color or canvas, pot or music, or whatever makes you feel joy.” ~Ioana, Romania
Patience. If it does not come easily to you, it can be learned.
Mindfulness. “I have to take care of myself by sleeping, eating healthy, exercising, spending time with God through prayer, and meditation as well as reading my Bible. I have to be intentional about making time for myself, family and friends, as well as work.” ~Ruby B. Johnson, West Africa
Curiosity. We can be curious and try new things and explore this beautiful planet. “Something I’d like others to know is that whatever you want to do is possible if you really want to make it happen. I make traveling and seeing the world a priority. This isn’t to say that I spend an extreme amount of money on it either. I budget it into my expenses just like groceries. I need to see the world. And while I love my job, I always feel a constant urge to know that the world and my life is bigger than sitting at a desk or on a train. It’s always worth it, and it is totally possible!” ~Justine S., New Jersey
Knowledge. You never know what you might learn next and how it may impact the rest of your life. “I signed up for one design class and absolutely loved it! I found that I not only had a passion for interior design, but I had a God-given gift to envision a space based off my clients’ wants and needs.” ~Ariel, Texas
Choice. Knowing you have choice to eat that sandwich, see that friend, to remove someone negative from your life. It’s your choice. “You are amazing! Take care and love yourself. You are worth loving! You have everything you need inside of yourself. You have the cognitive power to improve your life through your thoughts and emotions. If you’re stuck in a bad relationship or situation, know you have the power to change that.” ~Lisa, Canada
“In my point of view, during our lives, we have the chance to make positive impacts in our environment by understanding that life is full of good intent. I am passionate about people. Each of us has a story—something to tell the world. As human beings, we all deserve to be unique and to make mistakes in order to learn.” ~Idoia, Spain
Forgiveness. Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean letting someone who is negative back in your life. You can forgive without compromising your happiness. Forgiving someone will most likely make you happier; you can forgive this person to their face or just in your heart.
Appreciation for the good and bad. Being able to appreciate not only the good but the bad. See the bad as opportunities to make you a better person, to learn, to experience the world fully. It is all a part of the ride.“What I’ve learned in my journey is that life is a journey full of hills and valleys. I used to believe that I was a victim to life’s circumstances, but what I had to be awakened to is that I also had choices in the decisions I was making in my life.” ~Amiee, Indiana
“I have learned to enjoy every moment. I wish I could go back to my 16-year-old self and tell her that nothing in life is as important as you think it is when you think about it. Everything in life moves on and changes, and everything is about different stages.” ~Leire, Spain
Nature. “My favorite quote is ‘There’s a sunrise and sunset in every single day, and they’re absolutely free. Don’t miss any of them.'” ~Stacy, Florida
Senses. The smell of roses. The feel of cotton. The sight of flowers or clouds in the sky. The touch of a hug from a loved one. The taste of pizza. We derive a lot of happiness from our senses. They compromise the human experience! Having a bad day? Go pick yourself some flowers, eat your favorite food, take a warm shower, watch the sunset, or give someone a hug!
Ability to read. When you can read, the world is at your fingertips. You can learn anything, do anything. Anything is possible.“I learn from these stories and it’s important to me. They color the dreams of my reality and future and help me find the adventure in my life. Find your life’s adventures.” ~Lachelle, California
Being alive today.
You are alive today. While you have probably heard the saying, “Life is a precious gift,” a question you must ask yourself is…
Do you live each day as if it were a gift?
It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day stresses and activities and requirements we face each day. Requirements to go to work, to feed our family, to clean our apartment or house, to pick up this, do that, cancel this, and so on. Maybe someone cut you off on the road, you got in a fight with your mother, or you got stuck in traffic for two hours. Or worse, you are drowning in debt, you lost someone near and dear to you, or you are suffering from a health condition (physical, mental, you name it). The fact is you are alive now. You may not be tomorrow. It’s simply the truth that you just don’t know what tomorrow could bring. We need to try our best to enjoy every single day that we are alive. And that may be hard sometimes, especially if you are suffering from a terminal disease in a hospital bed, or you lost someone who means the world to you, or you suffer from depression and you constantly feel it. No one lives this life without suffering, and no one makes it out alive. While we could be sad and harp on death, choose to harp on life. Because you are here now. Make choices to live your life the best way you can. Choose to see the good. Choose to see life. Choose to live it the way you want.
At the end of the day, there is nothing greater than the gift of life. You are alive. So, what do you want to do today with your precious gift of today? Do you want to say hello to a stranger and make their day? Do you want to go for a walk outside? Do you want to bake cookies with your mom or go to lunch with dad? Do you want to catch up with a sibling or an old friend? Do you want to snuggle with your cat? Do you want to finally take the first step toward following your dreams? Do you want to tell your family how much you love them? Do you want to watch the sunset? Do you want to go try the tacos at that new Mexican restaurant that just opened? Do you want to drive or fly to a place you have never been to before? Do you want to profess your love to someone you can’t get out of your mind? Whatever it is you have always wanted to do, ask yourself, “Why not do it today?” Because today is a gift. Use it however you choose.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Wishing you health, happiness, and the power for you to create your day as you wish.
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