Woman Wednesday: Rumaisa


Q and A with Rumaisa, Quad Cities, IA

“We can truly change the circumstances in our life by shifting the way we think and feel about ourselves.


Q: What are you passionate about? 

A: My energy ignites when I am able to learn from my own hurts and setbacks, and share my own learnings and growth to empower others to do the same. The best feeling for me is when I am able to hold space for someone and see their own lightbulb moment click for them. Witnessing a client go from wanting to doing—by using their fears to propel them to do the scary thing they were once wishing to do—it’s so beautiful to see one’s confidence build right before your eyes. It took me 36 years to learn that my outcomes in life would not change unless I created the change that I wanted to see in my life. This is when I took my very first personal development course. This course was supposed to last a weekend. That weekend led me to moving out of my home in LA and moving to Chicago to live closer to my parents. I was doing all of this growth work on myself; I decided to step into my uncomfortable and go to school for social emotional intelligence in leadership and coaching. This work lead me to meeting my husband, having a baby, and moving to Iowa all in the same year! I am a transformational life coach and speaker who empowers women to “Go from Self Doubt to Self Love,” and I have been coach for over 5 years now. I am currently coaching 1:1 clients, teaching my 5 week course: Reboot Your Relationship with Yourself, and hosting my podcast titled “Real Talk with Ru: Going from Someday to Day One.” Available on all of the platforms.


Q: What were your younger years like?

A: I grew up with a mother with schizophrenia, so unfortunately, I did not have the opportunity to have a traditional mother/daughter relationship. As a child, I did not realize how traumatic this experience was. I pushed through life and looked for happiness through others. I was an East Indian American girl growing up in Omaha, Nebraska, trying to figure out her place in the world. Where she fit in. I “followed the yellow brick road” to see where it would take me. It took me to become a social butterfly. Being a queen of networking. Being active in softball, basketball, track, and tennis. My competitive spirit led me to becoming ranked third for tennis in the State of Nebraska landing me a tennis scholarship at an NAIA School. My “fearless” attitude took me to moving from Nebraska to NYC to land an internship with Donna Karan. From working in the fashion industry, I fell into working as a background extra in TV and films, which took me to LA and working at Universal Pictures. I was in NYC during 9/11, I traveled to Pakistan to film a documentary to show the beauty of the country. I was always searching for meaning in my life. Growing up with a mother with mental illness, it wasn’t until my late 30’s that I came to the realization that I was running away from a lot of childhood sadness. I was a “people-pleaser” who was afraid to really say what was on her mind out of fear that people wouldn’t like the real me. I thought that if I picked the most glamorous jobs, lived in the biggest cities, that I would find happiness. The busier I was, the more that I would do for others, I would not have to focus on the deep-rooted stuff. I would not have to focus on my sadness. What I found out was that no matter where I lived, if I did not tend to myself, this sadness would follow me wherever I would go. The way that I felt about myself. The way I felt about my work, money, my relationships. It would never feel like enough. I would never feel satisfied. The real work was getting to know myself. What I wanted and needed to live a meaningful and purposeful life.


Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?

A: What I have learned and continue to learn is that I am constantly learning about myself everyday. That my life is endlessly evolving. All of that sadness, the pain, those lonely moments, those “no’s”, have empowered me to become the woman that I am today. There were so many moments that I didn’t understand why these “ouches” were happening to me.What I am learning is that these have all been detours to guide me to this very moment to serve others and share my learnings with others in the hopes that they, too, can overcome their blocks. Our past does not have to define who we are today. Our past story does not have to be our current story. We can truly change the circumstances in our life by shifting the way we think and feel about ourselves. The moment that I chose to get into the driver’s seat of my life, create boundaries, and learn that it is not my job to make everyone happy, my life continues to become richer and richer everyday. I shifted from being a victim of the circumstances in my life to continuing to step into my power each day; no matter how scary it may feel on some days. Showing up for yourself is the ultimate gift one can give themselves. Continuing to learn and grow, to be better than you were yesterday.


Q: What does feminism mean to you? 

A: To me, feminism means celebrating ALL of who you are. Owning your fears, your joys, your sadness, hurt, and anger. Celebrating ALL OF YOU! Showing up, speaking up, and continuing to share your gifts with the world. This is how change happens.


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Woman Wednesday: Shaliah


Q and A with Shaliah from Dolton, Illinois

“I’ve always had a “plan B,” but there are so many others who weren’t prepared for their lives to change in such a way [during the pandemic].”


Q: What are you passionate about? 

A: One of my biggest passions in life is helping others. I’m a licensed financial advisor. I love what I do simply because I’m able to educate my potential clients on ways to create generational wealth for themselves and their families.


Q: What were your younger years like?

A: I grew up in a very close-knit family. Education and religion were two things that were at the top list of importance. I’m grateful for all the lessons learned because it helped me to become a better person and who I am today.


Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?

A: 2020 was a huge wake-up call for me, and I’m sure for a lot more families as well. I was laid off from my job of 15 years. Luckily for me, I’ve always had a “plan B,” but there are so many others who weren’t prepared for their lives to change in such a way. My advice would be to never solely depend on one stream of income. Keep multiple streams coming in in order to keep your family afloat.


Q: What does feminism mean to you? 

A: Being a woman, I think, is about being strong. It’s about continuing to move forward in all of life’s endeavors. I definitely have to keep a positive mindset and stay 100% committed to making all my life dreams a reality. I have two daughters that look up to me, and I want them to grow up stronger and better than I am. I love to see my ladies succeed! There was once a time when women were told we couldn’t do certain jobs or we couldn’t make a certain amount of money, but look at us now! Kudos Ladies! Let’s keep it up! God Bless.


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Woman Wednesday: Olivia

*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.              


Q and A with Olivia, from Charleston, SC, living in St Louis, MO

“You will always have a problem if you look for one.”


Q: What are you passionate about? 

A: I am most passionate about people and natural disasters. I love helping women come out of their shells and become the person they want to be.

My obsession with natural disasters came after I lost 80% of my possessions in Hurricane Michael, Panama City Florida, October 10th, 2018. In December of 2018, I partnered with a close friend and helped with the #ComeBackStrongProject. We hosted the event at a local mall in Panama City. We gave toys and supplies to those in need at the event. It was a kick start to my humanitarian efforts. 


In February of 2020, I volunteered in the Bahamas to help with the hurricane Dorian relief efforts with the organization All Hands and Hearts. I plan on volunteering every year going forward. I am also writing a hurricane survival guide for tips and supplies after the storm. 

 

IMG_20200220_112549Olivia has lived in a lot of places; her husband is in the Air Force. She’s lived in Charleston, South Carolina; Panama City, Florida; Atlanta, GA; and St Louis, MO. But her favorite place is wherever she is helping rebuild communities after natural disasters.

 

Q: What were your younger years like?

A: I was born a Buddhist in South Carolina. My mother was born Catholic and converted before I was born. My father was an atheist. His parents were Jehovah’s witnesses. Needless to say, I have much respect for people with different religious views. 
We were not wealthy by any means. We always had the cheapest house in the best school district. My mother and father were very big in our education. Despite the lack of funding, my parents always found ways to share life’s experiences with us. We went on vacations and tried a variety of foods. 
My father was addicted to drugs, and my parents divorced when I was 8. A little about my family dynamics. My mother was 35 when she had me, and I’m the oldest of 3. She didn’t have children in her first marriage. My father was also married previously, but did not have any other children. When my parents were first divorced, my mother went to college. She actually got her double masters while being a single mother of 3 with minimal family help. (That is part of the reason I have the drive that I do. I honestly feel extremely privileged to be able to build my dreams without the same obstacles she had.)   

 

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I started working when I was 15. My father moved back into the house when I was 16 for two years to help my mother co-parent. They weren’t together; they just loved us more than they disliked each other. They were actually friends “sometimes.” I did pageants and went to 6 proms and was relatively popular in my town and city. My dad moved out when I was 18, and I moved in with him when I got out of high school. My father passed away when I was 20, and I paid for his funeral. I was also in an abusive relationship at that time. 
I did a lot and learned a lot on a little, but it is definitely a part of what made me the woman I am today. 
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Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?

A: Never give up. No matter how hard it gets. You will always have a problem if you look for one. Your perception is your reality and sometimes you get in the way of your own growth.

 

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Q: What does feminism mean to you?

A: Equal treatment of men and women. I’m very textbook definition when it comes to this topic. My thoughts have developed over the years and I fear that women are losing touch with their individual power.

 

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Woman Wednesday: Erika

*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.         


Q and A with Erika, Memphis, Tennessee 

“Your happiness, your purpose, and your success belongs to you in every aspect of your life! People will judge you, hate you, and simply write you off, all based on their feelings towards you, but their feelings or validation of you does not control your destiny!” 

 

 Q: What are you passionate about?

A: I really enjoy helping others. If I can impact and make a difference in just one person’s life, then I feel as if I am making a world of a difference! As a child, I was always the kind friend who enjoyed helping my friends out, and it drove me to want to be (and later becoming) a registered nurse! With a new sense of empowerment after releasing my first book, Not Easily Bothered: From a Vengeful Driven Divorce to a Much Happier Life. I have recently released my second book, Their Validation, Your Success Powered by Purpose! I have had others question the purpose of my writings. I’ve had strangers publicly speak negatively of me because they thought I had malicious intentions, but at the end of the day, my books were successful; thus serving their purpose to help someone learn from my experiences!

 

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Q: What were your younger years like?

A: I was very sheltered as a child; my parents did not allow me to venture out much, but I managed to have a few select friends that they approved. And we would spend time doing things that kids with running imaginations do! We would write out our own screenplays and act them out during playtime. I remember being the shy one, but my friends would always enjoy my ideas. I kept a journal, which allowed me to express my thoughts in writing without being judged by my parents or friends. But I never thought I would become an author sharing some of my most personable moments. I remember as a kid being taught to do the right thing and me being the one who typically did what was right versus being easily influenced by others and choosing to do what was wrong! I’ve always been a person who thought for herself!

 

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Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?

A: Simply to believe in yourself and never allow the misconceptions that others may have of you to ruin your happiness or your success! Your happiness, your purpose, and your success belongs to you in every aspect of your life! People will judge you, hate you, and simply write you off, all based on their feelings towards you, but their feelings or validation of you does not control your destiny! Never allow someone who has absolutely nothing to do with your purpose to hinder it for you!

 

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Q: What does feminism mean to you?

A: Feminism to me means that every woman is entitled to live and carry out her very own story all while not being judged for it because she is a woman! Women are powerful and deserve to be treated equally all while supporting, empowering, and uplifting one another!

 

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Woman Wednesday: Alison

*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.         


Q and A with Alison W., Virginia Beach, Virginia

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” 

 

 Q: What are you passionate about?

A: I am passionate about helping women feel beautiful in their own skin. I am the owner of Wanderlust Dream Hair, and I sell hair toppers for women with thinning hair, women with hair loss due to medical conditions, and women who just want that extra volume! I have always had fine, thin hair and tried everything to make it appear thicker: hair extensions, volumizing spray, et cetera, but nothing really worked for me because traditional hair extensions do not address thinning on the top of your head. I also started medical treatment for chronic migraines that created even more hair loss, so I was motivated to find a solution. Then I discovered toppers! Toppers clip to the top of your existing hair and create the appearance of thicker, fuller hair.

 

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Body image is such a big issue for a lot of women. Most of us don’t realize that those celebrity hairstyles we covet are just wigs, toppers, or extensions. Hollywood paints a false picture of what a naturally beautiful woman looks like.

 

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Q: What were your younger years like?

A: My younger years were volatile. I was born with a limb difference (Poland syndrome), which means I only have two fingers on my right hand. So, confidence was a big issue for me growing up. Add thin hair to that, and you have a recipe for a wallflower. My mom was diagnosed with brain cancer and passed away when I was 13. I remember when she brought home her first wig from the wig bank. She hated it. It was hot and because it was made for someone else, it never fit her comfortably. She was embarrassed to leave the house somedays because of how she looked. I really wish that we had known about toppers back then. I think she would have loved them. My mom is a big part of my “why” when it comes to my business.

 

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Pictured: One of Alison’s clients using her Wanderlust Dream Hair topper

 

Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?

A: Something valuable I learned from a young age, due to my limb difference, is that sometimes you have to find your own way. You have to figure out how to do things yourself and not try to imitate someone else’s process because it might not work for you. I think this idea is helpful in life and in business. Comparison is the thief of joy. We are resilient, and it is amazing what we can do when we let go of traditional mindsets about how to do things and figure out what works for us. I’ve also learned to laugh at myself more. I started taking improv/comedy classes a couple of years ago. Being on stage is one of the most exhilarating things I have ever done. It has also boosted my confidence in general. The first rule of improv is to make your partner look good, which means saying yes to whatever they say. So, if they tell you that you are an alien, you are an alien. I’ve learned a lot about teamwork and confidence doing improv. I highly recommend improv; it is so good for the soul.

 

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Pictured: Before and after of one of Alison’s clients using her Wanderlust Dream Hair topper. Hair topper is shown on the right. 

 

Q: What does feminism mean to you?

A: Feminism is a word that has always had a bit of a negative connotation to me. I am more of an egalitarian; meaning in my marriage, we share all of the responsibilities. There is no such thing as woman’s work or man’s work. My husband is the better cook anyway! And I can lay a tile floor. I love busting through those gender expectations. I am definitely not anti-man, but I am definitely pro-woman! I think it is important for women to support other women. Yes, we have disadvantages in the workplace. Yes, we are not always treated equally. So, I think it is important to support and encourage each other as women instead of tearing each other down. We women can be super competitive, but I want to cheer on my competition. I want us all to win.

 

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