Q and A with Rumaisa, Quad Cities, IA
“We can truly change the circumstances in our life by shifting the way we think and feel about ourselves.“
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: My energy ignites when I am able to learn from my own hurts and setbacks, and share my own learnings and growth to empower others to do the same. The best feeling for me is when I am able to hold space for someone and see their own lightbulb moment click for them. Witnessing a client go from wanting to doing—by using their fears to propel them to do the scary thing they were once wishing to do—it’s so beautiful to see one’s confidence build right before your eyes. It took me 36 years to learn that my outcomes in life would not change unless I created the change that I wanted to see in my life. This is when I took my very first personal development course. This course was supposed to last a weekend. That weekend led me to moving out of my home in LA and moving to Chicago to live closer to my parents. I was doing all of this growth work on myself; I decided to step into my uncomfortable and go to school for social emotional intelligence in leadership and coaching. This work lead me to meeting my husband, having a baby, and moving to Iowa all in the same year! I am a transformational life coach and speaker who empowers women to “Go from Self Doubt to Self Love,” and I have been coach for over 5 years now. I am currently coaching 1:1 clients, teaching my 5 week course: Reboot Your Relationship with Yourself, and hosting my podcast titled “Real Talk with Ru: Going from Someday to Day One.” Available on all of the platforms.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I grew up with a mother with schizophrenia, so unfortunately, I did not have the opportunity to have a traditional mother/daughter relationship. As a child, I did not realize how traumatic this experience was. I pushed through life and looked for happiness through others. I was an East Indian American girl growing up in Omaha, Nebraska, trying to figure out her place in the world. Where she fit in. I “followed the yellow brick road” to see where it would take me. It took me to become a social butterfly. Being a queen of networking. Being active in softball, basketball, track, and tennis. My competitive spirit led me to becoming ranked third for tennis in the State of Nebraska landing me a tennis scholarship at an NAIA School. My “fearless” attitude took me to moving from Nebraska to NYC to land an internship with Donna Karan. From working in the fashion industry, I fell into working as a background extra in TV and films, which took me to LA and working at Universal Pictures. I was in NYC during 9/11, I traveled to Pakistan to film a documentary to show the beauty of the country. I was always searching for meaning in my life. Growing up with a mother with mental illness, it wasn’t until my late 30’s that I came to the realization that I was running away from a lot of childhood sadness. I was a “people-pleaser” who was afraid to really say what was on her mind out of fear that people wouldn’t like the real me. I thought that if I picked the most glamorous jobs, lived in the biggest cities, that I would find happiness. The busier I was, the more that I would do for others, I would not have to focus on the deep-rooted stuff. I would not have to focus on my sadness. What I found out was that no matter where I lived, if I did not tend to myself, this sadness would follow me wherever I would go. The way that I felt about myself. The way I felt about my work, money, my relationships. It would never feel like enough. I would never feel satisfied. The real work was getting to know myself. What I wanted and needed to live a meaningful and purposeful life.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: What I have learned and continue to learn is that I am constantly learning about myself everyday. That my life is endlessly evolving. All of that sadness, the pain, those lonely moments, those “no’s”, have empowered me to become the woman that I am today. There were so many moments that I didn’t understand why these “ouches” were happening to me.What I am learning is that these have all been detours to guide me to this very moment to serve others and share my learnings with others in the hopes that they, too, can overcome their blocks. Our past does not have to define who we are today. Our past story does not have to be our current story. We can truly change the circumstances in our life by shifting the way we think and feel about ourselves. The moment that I chose to get into the driver’s seat of my life, create boundaries, and learn that it is not my job to make everyone happy, my life continues to become richer and richer everyday. I shifted from being a victim of the circumstances in my life to continuing to step into my power each day; no matter how scary it may feel on some days. Showing up for yourself is the ultimate gift one can give themselves. Continuing to learn and grow, to be better than you were yesterday.
Q: What does feminism mean to you?
A: To me, feminism means celebrating ALL of who you are. Owning your fears, your joys, your sadness, hurt, and anger. Celebrating ALL OF YOU! Showing up, speaking up, and continuing to share your gifts with the world. This is how change happens.
Thank you for reading!
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