Q and A with Cora fromNorth, South Carolina, living in Lexington, South Carolina
“If you have the right people in your life, then you are richer than you know!”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I’m passionate about helping other women find their strength again. I know how hard it is to start over and I want to help women get back on their feet again. I also love to be outside, going on adventures of all kinds, listening to music and dancing. I’m as goofy as they come, but I’m a true, loving friend and a person who cares for everyone I meet.
My company is Coras Cleaning Solutions CCS LLC, and my mission statement for my company is to help other battered women get out of bad relationships that hurt them and be able to get back on their feet.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I modeled for Elite Modeling for 5 years. I was a wild child, always outside, always going on adventures, and always pushing buttons. My upbringing was the normal Christian kind: always have to behave, always use manners, etc. Even though I was the wild one, I am still respectful.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I want others to know that no matter how hard it is to walk away, you can walk away and find that strength again! I learned that no matter how hard life gets, if you have the right people in your life, then you are richer than you know! Speak your truth, tell your story, and reach out to those who need it the most! Always be kind.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: I’m not much of a feminist, but I do believe that we are the strongest species when we find our truth and our calling! We have a voice and that needs to be heard. I think that when we have other supporting women in our life we can do anything together.
MORE ABOUT CORA: I’m a single mom of two beautiful sons who are my world. I got divorced four years ago, and it’s been a rough journey, but I know I will be ok! Even though I come from a rough past, I treat others how I want to be treated.
Q and A with Dr. Carmela fromAruba, Netherlands Antilles, living in Jacksonville, Florida
“I was mostly ‘the only one’ across my career. The only Black woman. I’ve led in places women were not supposed to lead. I worked in places where I was in charge, and people walked past me to someone who was white; they were unable to wrap their heads around having to come to me. I’ve led in places where other leaders refused to sit next to me.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I’m Dr. Carmela Nanton and I am currently passionate about two things: leadership (women’s leadership specifically), and diversity and inclusion. These passions crystallized in me over the years spent in the workplace and around the world. Founder and CEO of Carmel Connections Inc., an award-winning author, educator, and program designer, I have worked locally and traveled globally developing 2,500+ leaders and managers in leadership and cross-cultural competency, in 100 cities and across 14 countries. I have also curated and led leadership development intensives using the world as a classroom.
The award-winning books in the Hard-Wired to Lead women’s leadership series focus on power secrets, the code of silence, and reconstructing leadership culture. The series is framed in the domestic violence behaviors and empathy deficiencies that are prevalent in our society and mirrored in the workplace leadership culture, showing up as abusive undiscussable behaviors like underrepresentation, persistent wage gaps, being passed over, sexual harassment, sexism, and gender bias against women. Especially those who are ambitious and hard-wired to lead.
I also host the Talk4Leaders Podcast focusing on women’s leadership undiscussables and personal or professional challenges. My current focus is working on facilitating the Hard-wired To Lead – Smart Executive Women’s conference series, to help companies create inclusive cultures, and with women as executives and entrepreneurs as they make their personal powershifts to 1) accelerate their careers to go after that promotion, 2) reposition their knowledge and skills to expand to another career or company, or 3) reinvent or reimagine themselves or their purpose into company ownership and making a better life for themselves and family.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I was born in Aruba, and am the third of seven children, the second of two girls, so I learned I had to ‘fight’ my way through and speak up for myself if I was going to be heard. I had my first gender-based argument at around 11 years old, with an exchange student and have been advocating for women’s equality ever since. Our parents raised the girls to be independent and self-sufficient, and I’m grateful for that to this day. We did not know we were poor, but we had hand-me-downs and a lot of fun. My early education was in Dutch, I was passionate about music, played violin in HS and College orchestras, was a soloist, sang in choirs, including acapella, and was a choir and drama director. I loved the idea of traveling the world and did so vicariously by voraciously reading any books I could find, (I even was caught reading in class on occasion).
My spiritual side was developed early. I had my first opportunity to teach a class of peers as a teen and my eclectic religious upbringing resulted in my being twice ordained and licensed in two denominations. Teaching showed up in organizations as training and development of staff and professionals and educating leaders worldwide. Education was always critical and important in our family, and I took education and learning to heart adding valedictorian and other credentials to my experience. One of those was in biological science that evolved into transfusion medicine specialist, coordinated an FMA continuing medical education program for physicians, nurses, pharmacists, and state re-licensure programs for allied health personnel. I received a community service award for developing the largest donor program county-wide. Masters in human resource/organization development and counseling psychology; board certification as executive leadership and business coach; and an earned doctorate in organizational leadership and adult education round out my educational preparation. I taught leadership, multicultural leadership, and management at the university level for more than a decade, ultimately receiving the legacy top black educator award, and two nominations for the Who’s Who of Teachers awards.
I played sports, still love sports, and am highly competitive, yet teamwork, skill diversity, and collaboration are vital if we want to win. Being the underdog and winning against the odds is also a pattern in my life. I led my first winning teams when I was a teenager -against the odds. I’ve led in companies and was fast-tracked with promotions to leadership positions -against the odds. I combine knowledge, business intelligence, and expertise to coach, train, and bring value to others.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I was mostly ‘the only one’ across my career. The only Black woman. I’ve led in places women were not supposed to lead. I worked in places where I was in charge, and people walked past me to someone who was white; they were unable to wrap their heads around having to come to me. I’ve led in places where other leaders refused to sit next to me. Then there were the places where people sought me out to find out if I was ‘real,’ because they didn’t think they would ever see a woman of color hold the positions I held. I traveled to places where they had never seen a Black woman in person and where some tried to rub the brown off my skin. The leadership positions were held in healthcare, for-profit, not-for-profit, government, education, the church, and on Boards. Here’s some of what I learned over time that I want you to also learn from reading my story:
My voice was given to me at birth, it authenticated my life’s existence. In communication, it is my expression of personal power and leadership impact as I use it for strategic advocacy, sparingly, with wisdom.
Diversity is inherent in everything and should be celebrated through our bodies, our interests, our perspectives, our gift mix, in people and in the environment. Diversity must be leveraged as a business imperative if companies truly want the competitive edge, the profits, the best decisions, and global leadership advantage.
Women can and do lead anywhere they are given opportunity, and companies do better when their C-Suite includes women.
Introverts make great leaders; they don’t just talk -they think and do.
After working in life-and-death situations with zero tolerance for errors (because they literally could kill) I learned that quality wins out over quantity and speed every time. Speed is important -don’t get me wrong’ but not to the point where corners are cut, and steps are skipped.
I had to be a lifelong learner, so I try to learn something new every day.
Know your circle and be strategic about your network connections. There are those whose eyes light up when you enter a room, who want to help you. There will also be others who will refuse and even overtly thwart your advancement. Connect with those who are doing what you want to do or who can help you grow to your highest potential. Everyone needs a coach and a mentor; I am one of them and I have them.
Always stay true to your values, know when to say “No,” take care of yourself so you can add value from your overflow, and remain in alignment and in integrity in your purpose and practice.
We are all gifted in something. Don’t let others put down your accomplishments or cause you to hide your achievements just because they don’t have them or to make them feel better. Follow your dreams -they don’t go away.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: I stood at the same debate desk as Benazir Bhutto at Oxford Roundtable, UK, heart racing, as I argued for women’s leadership and the burden of proof. They said I was a feminist. To me, feminism means being able to be authentically me in a world that does not intentionally misrecognize me based on their systems and categories of where they think I belong and what they think I can do. Rather, it means being accepted and granted equal opportunity without having to break through the discriminatory glass-, concrete-, money- and gender-biased ceilings women who are ambitious and hardwired to lead have had to deal with for decades. Simply put it means removing the invisible but impenetrable limiting barriers that block self-determination and full unimpeded actualization of my healthcare rights, personal power, leadership potential, and possibilities. As. I. Am.
It took me a while to figure out that it’s not about hiding who we are as women so that we can fit into the prescriptive spaces society (and men) create for us, but playing full out using the gifts that are unique to me as a woman. It means shining my light without the ever-present, ever-oppressive ‘burden of proof’ that hangs over the heads of accomplished women even though the evidence of her competence is clear. Feminism to me means creating an inclusive world that does not require us to be twice as good, twice as educated in the ‘masculine’ skills while the competence bar of opportunity is continually raised, and the goalposts constantly moved to keep them unattainable for us. The power of ‘feminine’ or soft skills is increasingly vital to business success in a global society. We still don’t get it that when women thrive, everyone thrives. Feminism to me means being equal, and self-determining, recognized as competent leaders, broadly experienced, deeply knowledgeable, yet fully feminine and phenomenal all at the same time with our society and world celebrating and fully accepting of who and all that I am.
MORE ABOUT DR. CARMELA: I have been married for 34 years, have three children (a son and twin daughters), and grandchildren. I enjoy nature, iced macchiatos-straight, vanilla ice cream, traveling, and music.
Join my Facebook group: Facebook.com/groups/executiveacceleratorgroup for executives, leaders, entrepreneurs, and anyone who is thinking about transitioning their careers into businesses.
“When you learn to manage your mind, you can do anything!”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I’m passionate about being authentic, showing up as myself, and sharing that with people. I love showing people how to use their own authenticity in business. It’s what I believe to be the secret to success. Overcoming all the limiting beliefs that are keeping people from showing up as their authentic self! I’m also passionate about meditation and learning. It’s how we keep a balanced life filled with purpose and excitement. I’m currently working on helping entrepreneurs build and scale their businesses so they can help their people in powerful ways!
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I grew up in the DC-metro area. I was one of a handful of Jewish kids and struggled with feeling like I didn’t fit in. I went to Syracuse for my undergrad education and NYU for grad school. I studied social work and have always wanted to help others. I burnt out quickly in social work and broke into the fitness world. I started my first business at age 24, as a private 1:1 trainer. In 2010, I opened my first yoga studio, and opened my second in 2014. All of these experiences have led me to where I am today, helping others with their businesses.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: The most valuable thing I have learned is the power of your thoughts. How they create every result you have. That when you learn to manage your mind, you can do anything!
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: Feminism is standing for women’s rights and women leaders. Showing up as an example for other women.
MORE FROM RACHEL: I currently live in Atlanta, Georgia, with my two kids and three stepkids and my amazing husband.
“I don’t want to be known for what I look like, and I don’t want to be treated any differently just because I am a woman.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: There are a lot of things I am passionate about. One is my job. I started my career as a correctional officer in a large metropolitan jail in Minnesota. While I loved the setting and population, I decided to leave to pursue higher education and a career in psychology. Thereafter, I earned a master’s and doctorate in clinical psychology, and I worked in several state and federal prisons throughout my training. Now, I work as a forensic psychologist. I complete competency, criminal responsibility, civil commitment, patterned sex offender, and risk assessment evaluations. My work consists of reviewing police discovery (e.g., crime scene photographs, video and audio recordings, legal documents) and other records, interviewing defendants, administering and interpreting psychological tests, writing a report, and then testifying in court as an expert witness. Recently, I started a private practice, through which I also provide supervision, serve as a business consultant, and review research proposals. Given that my work can be mentally and emotionally draining, I maintain balance with activities I am passionate about. Specifically, I always need to have both physical and creative outlets. For example, I train in boxing and Brazilian jiu jitsu (BJJ) and I have another business as a freelance makeup artist. Other things I am passionate about are cooking, traveling, salsa dancing, and gardening.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: My parents started a business planning performing tours for high school music groups when I was three years old. My father brought my sister and me on the road with him and taught us about the business from an early age. This has hugely impacted my life, as I am now a business owner myself. The business also allowed us to travel as a family. By the time I was 18 years old, I had visited all 50 states and dozens of countries. Aside from travel, however, my parents made sure we were exposed to other cultures, customs, and languages. We had very close friends from Nigeria and three exchange students (they were from Mexico, Argentina, and Poland). I, too, studied abroad twice, spending a semester each in Mexico and Spain. I also backpacked around Europe for one month. I feel so fortunate to have had these opportunities. Travel has taught me independence and confidence. I have gained a new perspective in life and appreciation for what I have. I also learned the value of speaking another language. My goal is to always have traveled to at least as many countries as I am years old. Another significant and related aspect of my childhood was cooking. My father loves to cook and he shared his love of it with me. It was something we often did together. He cooked two new dishes each week, and often, we tried foods from all over the world. Cooking for friends and family brings people together and is an act of caring and giving. It was also way I could connect with my Italian heritage and explore other cultures.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I hold several important lessons with me. One is to be humble, ask questions, and always be open to feedback. At the same time, however, know your worth, believe in yourself, and walk the world with confidence. Despite holding a doctorate in clinical psychology and being considered an expert witness in court, it took me a long time to feel confident. I always assumed there were so many other, more experienced clinicians than I. Likewise, it has always been hard for me to ask for the compensation I deserve. Nevertheless, you have to be your own best advocate. Second, as an introvert, I hated the idea of networking. It felt so disingenuous. Inevitably, however, most career opportunities arise via word of mouth. Also, it doesn’t have to be inauthentic. Form friendships, reach out, ask questions, and make an effort to stay in touch. Third, it really is a small world. This is especially true in my field. There are only two state agencies that employ forensic psychologists, so we all know one another. This is also the case throughout the country. Therefore, it’s so important to comport yourself professionally and never burn any bridges.
Your reputation matters. Fourth, I have learned I must always find balance. I have taken on a lot of endeavors and am always busy. I work full-time, own two companies, have several side gigs and contracts, develop professional presentations, write manuscripts for publication, and am seeking board certification. I also dedicate my time to several hobbies and need to set time aside for my family, my friends, and myself. This is a constant juggle and I am often overwhelmed and exhausted. It’s important for me to stay in tune with those feelings, self-care, and prioritize so I don’t get burned out. Lastly, I am always pushing myself to do things that scare me or that I don’t believe I can accomplish. Whenever I have doubts, I want to prove to myself that I am capable of achieving what I set out to do, even if it’s hard. As a result, I have earned a doctorate, started two businesses, run an ultra marathon, gone skydiving, and gone scuba diving in narrow cave passages, among other things. It is my perseverance in the face of self-doubt that I am most proud of.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: When I was younger, I hated dresses, the color pink, and anything else I perceived to be “girly.” I felt that the only way I could establish myself on equal footing with the boys and find acceptance was to reject my feminine side. As an adult, I have always worked in male-dominated environments and participated in male-dominant sports (e.g., hockey, mountain biking, boxing, BJJ). This led to a lot of inaccurate assumptions, unwanted attention, and unfair treatment. Being told I couldn’t do something because I was a woman was also a frequent occurrence. An ex-boyfriend once told me I couldn’t be a forensic psychologist, and my uncle told me girls don’t play hockey or box. Unfortunately for them, I like to challenge people’s assumptions and prove them wrong, so I did all three. As a correctional officer, my male co-workers didn’t think I was capable of performing my job as well as they were. I was dismissed as just filling a quota and I was the subject of sexual harassment. When I resigned from my position, they admitted they made bets about how long it would take before I cried and quit. Despite making a significant effort to dress professionally and conservatively while working in prisons, my physical appearance was the topic of conversation. People were always surprised when I told them where I worked, as if I didn’t fit the mold. I once had a female supervisor suggest I wasn’t even like the other female correctional officers because I didn’t play hockey (I did). Similarly, on the mats, men did everything they could to prevent being beat by a woman or they were patronizing. I don’t want to be known for what I look like, and I don’t want to be treated any differently just because I am a woman. Therefore, I am particularly interested in paving the way for other women working in correctional environments or joining male-dominated sports. My goal is to help women garner respect, rather than be patronized or objectified. I make it a point to try to address these issues whenever they come to my attention. I want to challenge people’s assumptions, or at the very least, advocate for what I believe in. I also want women to be able to both embrace their femininity and find success and respect in male-dominated arenas. As cliché as it is, I had to learn to accept myself, rather than trying to prove my worth or and what people expect of me. Who I am is a quiet, unassuming makeup artist who is trained in mixed martial arts and interviews murderers for a living.
*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.
Q and A with Aina, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
“The very gifts that God instills in us are not for us to keep to ourselves; it’s to go out and share that very gift to the world!”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I am passionate about anything that will get me out of the bed the next day without getting paid to do it. As a curator of many things, I find myself anticipating the next BIG thing and/or project that I can get my hands on.
My passion normally comes from things I share an interest with, such as becoming an owner of Bona Fine Kisses Cosmetics, an all-vegan cosmetic line, which I absolutely loved because I’m a huge makeup/lipstick lover. And it didn’t hurt having a bachelor of science degree, which allowed me the experience to hand-make all my lipsticks! I’m also very passionate about the community of women, and how every day we find more and more ways to unite and support one another. Being the face of Sip N Seal Sist’HER Women’s Empowerment Circle on Facebook has empowered women from all over and myself to overcome fear and to begin living their best life!
And by being apart of such a well-rounded women circle, it allowed me to recognize my talents and that I needed to share whatever those talents consisted of with the world and so, I did!
I now have the total confidence to wake up every day and do what I love, and that’s bake! I am now using my talent that I was afraid to share with the world because I was afraid of the unknown…I am pleased to say that I am now known as “The Cheesecake Lady,” a home baker serving delicious gourmet cheesecakes to people from all over!
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Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I grew up the youngest of two siblings and was raised by a phenomenal single mother in Oklahoma. Growing up, my mother made it her duty to provide for her children as well as providing us with the best life possible that money couldn’t buy! I was exposed single-handed as a child to see and know what “hard work” looked like as my mother showed me what being resilient looked like at an early age.
That same resilience that my mother had was instilled in me to never give up no matter what, to always keep God first in all that I do to truly experience success…it’s been a stepping ladder for me ever since!
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: Just go for it! Whatever it is that keeps you up at night, is worth trying! The very gifts that God instills in us are not for us to keep to ourselves; it’s to go out and share that very gift to the world!
Q: What does feminism mean to you?
A: A tribe of women in a variety of different shades, color, height, weight, etc come together to support and encourage the female woman!
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