Q and A with Topaz, Mount Pleasant, South Carolina
“…push past the fear and do it anyway.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A:I’m passionate about serving others, specifically women entrepreneurs who are looking to have a more fulfilled life. I want to support others’ life purpose and create balance and ease.
I spent over 16 years as a coach in various ways. I started out as a personal fitness coach and moved into an education role with the University of California Irvine. I taught leadership development courses at the ropes course for UCI and later became a corporate team building coach.
I spend every morning exercising, meditating, and sitting with my feelings. I love anything with water, so I live 15 minutes from the ocean. I am an avid paddle-boarder, and I love to surf.
I am currently working on my new life coaching business. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life and I can’t wait to support as many women as possible.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I grew up in a mountain town, population of 100. My house that I lived in did not have running water or electricity!
I learned how to do whatever it took to make “it” happen, this carried on through my adult life and career.
I think one of the most valuable quotes a past mentor told me when I said I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t even cope was, “When your cup starts to overflow, get a bigger cup.” This was a whole new perspective I had never thought before, and allowed me to take a birdseye view of my life. I realize that everything I want is possible.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I want everyone to know two things: First is that you need to put your oxygen mask on first! This is so important to know that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
Second is that you will get triggered by fear, and it’s okay to feel those triggers and to push past the fear and do it anyway.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: Growing up, I was afraid of other women. I was afraid of rejection and not fitting in. It’s only recently that I discovered how incredible women are and embraced the power of the divine feminine.
So, to me, feminism is fully welcoming my fellow sisters with encouragement. I want us all to empower each other to grow and be stronger and love and support each other.
A: My name is Melanie Rutgers, and I am from Cape Town, South Africa. I love creating things as well as opportunities and experiences that influence and effect change for whomever that change is for at that moment hoping that it will have a lasting impact.
The current space I am in is women transitioning into menopause and midlife, creating platforms and events where they become empowered with information to go through the transition a lot easier and safer based on several factors.
I am very passionate about the work that I am currently busy with because I had a horrible experience during my transition and struggled to understand and manage it as I discovered that there was very little information about women going through this phase of their lives. Among other things, I am an educational and training development practitioner, which simply means that I am qualified to facilitate information for educational purposes.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I am college educated and have post-grad studies in business strategy and organizational development. I had a good middle-class upbringing and always got into trouble for asking way too many questions! I found that I had a passion to create from very early in my life and that I could use my voice to make a difference. I was always creating opportunities and experiences and events in our neighborhood and community and had a large variety of friends, much to my parent’s distress at times. [She laughs.]
The biggest lesson that I have learned about my story so far is that in one’s pursuit of finding more (whatever that more is), it is important not to always make impulsive decisions; some things need careful thought and planning because they can have severe consequences on those closest to you. Always be teachable.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: Let me just say that it costs you if you become anything close to what is now coined as a solopreneur. You have to believe that what you are doing is your life’s work! So, we are currently fundraising to televise an event where we can take information to women who don’t have access to quality health care in our country, on a much larger scale than we have been doing so they can also be well and a lot more informed but most importantly, to know that they are not alone.
Q: What does feminism mean to you? A: Let me start by saying kudos to every woman who has ever fought for women’s rights and even went as far as changing legislation so that our voices could be heard; however, as far as feminism goes, in my opinion, it does not always need to be a fight to prove that we are worthy and capable in any one particular way or another because there is nothing to compete against. Women possess uniqueness, power, class, and strength that is unprecedented. Firstly, it is divine and very well-thought-out because we can create, influence, and maintain excellent multitasking power that no other creature on this planet has been blessed with! And those who seem not to possess what I am talking about, know that it exists, it’s there beneath what appears as brokenness; given the time and the right circumstance, it will be uncovered.
PS. I forgot to mention that I am also a talk show host and producer. This is me in the center with my two guests and two of the crew.
Q and A with Maria T., Entrepreneur Coach, Philippines
“True abundance isn’t about what you have. It’s how comfortable you arebeing you, doing you, and staying you.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I love making the impossible possible—turning “crazy ideas” into reality.
Born into an entrepreneurial, immigrant Chinese family, I was wired into the “work hard, stay in your place, be practical” mentality.
Pictured: We had the “work hard” mentality, but humor was a big part of our lives! Here I am in my early twenties with my parents and siblings.
Anything outside the norm wasn’t accepted, and everything that had to do with dreaming differently wasn’t encouraged. Hobbies, passions, interests that didn’t result in direct payout/profit were kept as such. Little effort would be put into something “frivolous” like playing the piano or theater arts. As a result, I grew up with such a scarcity mindset and lots of self-limiting beliefs.
What’s curious though, I inherited my ancestors’ entrepreneurial skills and was making money from the age of 6 by buying and selling stationery and confectionary items, dried foods, and other things I could sell. Later, I was selling my services as a teacher and consultant. For someone so “young,” I had my choice of clients and was paid above the market rate.
Pictured: Me facilitating a communications workshop in Taipei, Taiwan.
But I felt something was missing. I needed to BE MORE and think beyond what to sell next and how to make more money. I talked to my mom about the meaning of life and she pretty much dismissed my question as something frivolous and overreaching. I can’t blame her though—she comes from a generation where having a white picket fence was the dream). After that talk, I went even deeper into depression. I was living my life void of any life. I would go from one task to the next and have no memory of doing so.
I was honestly contemplating to end my life, but something in me said: “I can’t give up on myself—life has got to be better than this.” I went full-on into exploring my spiritual gifts and somehow I embraced being an empath. When I talked to people, I just knew which buttons to push to help them talk about what really mattered to them. Today, I am able to combine that spiritual gift with my talent in teaching, consulting, and seeing the big picture.
I now coach “Misfits,” aka people who feel like they can’t conform to the norm and what’s expected of them, to turn their “deepest desires” and “crazy impossible dream” into reality. I help elevate their lives by guiding them in creating an eco-system around who they are and what they offer.
Q: What is something valuable you’ve learned that you’d like others to know?
A: True abundance isn’t about what you have. It’s how comfortable you are being you, doing you, and staying you.
I’ve made money from an extremely young age. In fact, making money comes easy to me because I’m good with people and I can sell lots of things. When I was selling my products and services to anyone who wanted to buy, I was working day and night. The money came in fast. But my scarcity mindset back then simply drove me to doing more and feeling disconnected with the part of me that knew I was meant for more.
I couldn’t enjoy the money I made and was so concerned about how other people saw me and my means. I made monetary decisions out of the fear that people would look down on me and think I couldn’t afford something. What should be a blessing became a burden. Only after I embraced my spiritual self and embodied a more abundant state of being did I fully appreciate life and find joy in my existence.
This may sound like a cliche, but the moment you embrace the totality of who you are, the money will come anyway. So be you, stay you, do you. There is no one like you and the moment you appreciate that about you, the rest of the world will!
Pictured: This was a big milestone in my life. Since 2013, I sat on different boards and committees of non-profit organizations (Rotary Club and the International Women’s Club). But nothing brought me more honor than being part of an education foundation in 2018. I was a recipient of scholarship since I was 11 until about my college years. To be part of this education foundation was me paying it forward.
Q: What does feminism mean to you?
A: I was actually brought up in a matriarchal society. Even within my extended families, women are held in high regard. In fact, women can be so strong and as capable as the men in my family, but they wouldn’t be dressed down for “failure” as a male would.
When I left my home country (the Philippines) to pursue my tertiary education is when I saw the favorable treatment to men. I was harassed by a male professor and when I asked an administrator where I could file a complaint, I was strongly suggested not to. The reason was simply “You’re female and you’re from the Philippines. In this country, people listen to males, especially those that came from a developed country.”
I never felt more violated than the moment I heard that. And I vowed since then never to let my nationality or my gender get in the way of empowerment. Feminism, for me, isn’t about equal rights. It’s about mutual respect and compassion. That country had “equal rights” but the societal beliefs then were programmed against women.
The way I was brought up, women are heard. When a woman isn’t happy, the entire family walks on eggshells. Women are loved for being caring and nurturing, for thinking of everyone’s needs, and for being non-linear in their thinking. Women are respected because they make life easier.
That, for me, is feminism.
Connect with me! I’d love to chat with you!
Maria Tan is an Entrepreneur Coach for Misfits (people who don’t like to conform to the norm), Multipassionates (people who are extremely multifaceted and multitalented), and Millennials (people born between 1981-1996). She helps her clients create an eco-system around who they are and what they offer. She’s taught more than 1000 people from all over the world! Connect with her on her website (www.maria-tan.com).
“Never be afraid to try something new. If your heart’s not in it and pulls you toward something else, let it guide you. ”
Q: Tell us about yourself.
A: Hello! My name is Vivian, and I’m passionate about helping others. I am the owner of Xpressive Mocha Cafe, which was created because my husband and I wanted something natural to aid in the healing of our son’s eczema. After discovering shea butter and the wonderful benefits it offers, I began to mix the butter with essential oils to create something that was not only working but assisted in giving my son’s skin the extra moisture it needed.
After being asked what I was using, Xpressive Mocha was born. Me being a coffee lover as well, I knew the caffeine in coffee would just be a bonus so I added that as well as tea. Our online store was created in 2014. Since then, fast forward to 2022, we opened our storefront in Bloomingdale, Illinois.
At the Xpressive Mocha Cafe, our passion for skincare allows us to provide helpful information and products that help with the treatment of eczema, psoriasis, and other personal skincare issues. We provide skin consultations with clients to discuss their skincare concerns; educate clients on how to use skincare products and provide product demonstrations; we plan, organize, and participate in skincare events and shows; and give accessibility to order new skincare supplies and maintain relationships with our customers.
Our body butter doesn’t contain any preservatives. To use it, you simply put a small amount on your fingers and rub it into your skin, just as you would with lotion. Body butter is thicker than lotion, so you don’t need a lot to moisturize.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I’m from a small area in Wisconsin where everyone knows everyone and you are a community. I remember cooking with my mom daily and imagining I was making a meal for my imaginary family. I’m from a family of 10 children, so we did a lot of cooking. Cooking and experimenting have always been a passion of mine. When I had to take home economics in school, that just solidified that making things with my hands was a stress reliever for me. I was always a fan of chemistry class because it intrigued me, and my teacher was wonderful! I believe this is the same passion that drives me to create my plant-based products for men and women today.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: Something valuable I would like to share with everyone is to never be afraid to try something new. If your heart’s not in it and pulls you toward something else, let it guide you. When I first started college, I truly believed I was going to be a lawyer and that it would be great. One computer class changed my life. It’s as if I had found my calling and switched career paths that day. I continued with the information technology world for years before having kids and discovering my newfound love. After moving from Wisconsin to Illinois, I became a computer science instructor and did that for seven years. Covid proved to me that time waits for no one and you have to go for your dreams now. Quitting and persuading myself to go after my dream of having a storefront was the best decision I could have made.
Q: What does feminism mean to you? A: Feminism to me means being true to yourself and taking advantage of all the opportunities that are available to help you. As well as having multiple sisters to confide in along the way when you feel you can’t.
“Boundaries that aren’t enforced aren’t boundaries. ”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: So many things! I love reading, and always have, which ultimately sort of accidentally spilled into writing books and building a business out of authoring. I’m a licensed professional counselor, and I still work a couple days a week as a counselor doing mental health therapy with clients, and then I write every day, in every spare moment from that! I write therapeutic children’s picture books like I Love You When You’re Angry and When a Donut Goes to Therapy under Erin Winters, and then on the other side of the spectrum, I write YA fantasy novels under E.A. Winters!
We’re a military family and our boys are two and almost four years old. I have a therapeutic deployment book launching on Kickstarter in May, and a new children’s book about a super cute lamb that’s based on Psalm 23 and will be illustrated this summer.
As for novels, book #2 in my dragons and assassins series launched just yesterday, and I’m finishing up writing book #4 now! Book #3 drops in April, and book #4 in June, so I stay pretty busy. I want to offer heartwarming, therapeutic children’s books promoting emotional learning and normalizing having conversations about feelings with kids on a variety of topics. I was surprised to find there were so few picture books doing this effectively, and blown away by the response I’ve gotten to my books. In regard to fantasy novels, they’re honestly escapism. Daring adventures, sword fights, dragons, assassins…what could be better, right? I also discovered they were cathartic for me, and phenomenal self-care, and I get grumpy if I haven’t written in a couple of days. I think almost accidentally, I discovered part of what I do is provide wholesome family-friendly fantasy that refuses to romanticize toxic relationships but shows realistic people overcoming enormous challenges. What hope there is in that! If they can do it, and be brave enough to face the monsters within along the way, surely so can we.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I was homeschooled all the way through. My parents did an incredible job, and I hope I do half as well. I respect them so much. My dad is a mechanical engineer and my mom has degrees in biochemistry and zoology. Critical thinking skills were always emphasized growing up. My mom currently teaches high school science classes to about 150 homeschoolers across a number of different classes. For extracurriculars, I was in a singing ensemble, did drama, and loved it. I also did piano but didn’t apply myself like I probably should have. My relationship with God has been the biggest factor in my life overall, and spine surgery at age 13 taught me a lot about not being in control. I also had the opportunity to serve others overseas on short-term trips a couple of times, and the experiences I gained impacted me in huge ways.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: Therapeutically, something I say a lot is that boundaries that aren’t enforced aren’t boundaries. So, there you go. Personally, I’ve learned that being in control of life is an illusion. The only person in control is God, so without Him, we’re all sort of just swirling around in a storm-filled ocean, clinging to driftwood and hoping we hit land. And since having kids, there’s a lot I have left to learn, but I think taking care of yourself so that you have the mental space to pour out is really important. Being sacrificial, patient, and consistent is so important. And doing whatever I need to do to work on myself to get to a place where I can be that way needs to be a top priority for my own sanity as well as the best for my family!
Q: What does feminism mean to you? A: There are way too many definitions for this word. As a therapist, I see terms being tossed about all the time with no grounding, so it’s important to define our terms carefully, and unless there’s a reason to use an operational definition, the regular one does just fine. Google says this: “The advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.” I think it’s apparent that men and women are equal. Equal in worth, intelligence, and having a broad scope of personalities, desires, and all the complexities within humanity. People should never be discriminated against by their age, gender, or race. It harms men and women alike when either gender is devalued, no matter which side is doing it.
The Woman Wednesday Blog 