Q and A with Melissafrom Cape May, New Jersey, living in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
“Don’t give up when times get tough.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I am very passionate about helping small businesses grow using different types of marketing. I found this passion through experience of starting my own different businesses and seeing the results produced. Some of my interests are watching hockey, preferably my son’s games, boating, going to the beach, and traveling. I just opened a new candle bar and boutique called Sea Love Hilton Head. It is my newest project and off to a great start.
Q: Please share about what it’s like to make your own candle at the candle bar.
A: Your custom candle experience takes about 45 minutes to one hour. There are 100+ fragrances for your choosing, and we guide you through the candle pouring process. Beer and wine are available during your experience. Candles take 2 hours to cool before they are ready to take home or can be shipped for $12/ea. If you wish to pour a candle and pick it up the same day, please be sure to reserve a time at least 3 hours before close to ensure your candle has time to cool. If you are unable to pick up your candles the same day, you are welcome to pick them up anytime in the two weeks following your visit.
Planning on enjoying a meal at a local restaurant as part of your celebration? We recommend pouring candles first, then making a restaurant reservation for while your candles cool. We are just a short stroll to restaurants and shops; we’re happy to share some of our recommendations!
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I grew up in Cape May, NJ, a very small town. I have a very large Italian family whom all still live in Cape May. I played soccer growing up and many other sports and activities. I attended school at Palm Beach Atlantic University in West Palm Beach, Florida, and I studied business management. I always knew I wanted to be a business owner. Many family members owned their own businesses and I saw that growing up. What really impacted my life is when I left NJ and moved to SC with just my 4 year old son and myself leaving my family behind and starting fresh and new on our own. There were many ups and downs, but it lead to success. I took a risk that not many would take and trusted GOD.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: Don’t give up when times get tough. If you do something wrong, it can always be fixed. Hard work pays off. One thing I learned early on is that the main ingredient to a successful business is the marketing. There can be seven others that offer the same services, but you need to think outside of the box and make yours different.
Q: In honor of Valentine’s Day, who is someone you love and would like to give a shout-out to? A: I am engaged to an amazing man Jeremy who brings out the best in me, and we have a grand baby named Aria who calls me BeBe.
Q and A with Valencia D. fromCapitol Heights, Maryland
“There’s a risk of losing ourselves in the fast-paced nature of life if we fail to pay attention and stay true to our core values.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I have a deep passion for empowering individuals to achieve healing and become their healthiest, most authentic selves by equipping them with the essential tools and support.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I matured quickly and encountered a myriad of challenges throughout my upbringing, including witnessing mental illness, a lack of self-love, low self-esteem, drug-related issues, violence, and abuse within my family. The early loss of my father at the age of six introduced me to trauma, which significantly influenced my life.
Motivated to heal my own heart, I embarked on a personal journey of self-discovery as I grew older. This process ignited a passion within me to assist others in their own healing journeys. Fast forward to today, where I am a mother to seven children (four boys and three girls) and a wife to an amazing man. Recognizing the importance of being the support I lacked in my youth for my own children, I became determined to offer the same guidance and care to them. Through this experience, I realized others also need this kind of support, prompting me to extend my passion for healing to a broader community.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I’ve embraced the principle of trusting the process and resisting external pressures to conform to someone else’s expectations. Early on, I recognized that I may not resonate with everyone, and I’ve come to accept that as a natural part of life. Embracing my authentic self has become a paramount aspect of my identity, and I navigate life with the unwavering confidence to be true to who I am without hesitation.
Q: What does feminism mean to you? A: Though we’ve made significant progress from our past, affording us greater capabilities and opportunities, it’s crucial to stay mindful and authentic. Even with the advancements, there’s a risk of losing ourselves in the fast-paced nature of life if we fail to pay attention and stay true to our core values.
MORE ABOUT VALENCIA: In my practice, I provide a diverse array of services designed to meet the unique needs of individuals. These offerings include personalized one-on-one sessions, enriching family sessions, dynamic workshops, and impactful speaking engagements, all aimed at fostering personal and relational growth. A particular source of pride is my signature program, the “Always Win” workshop, which stands out as a distinctive and transformative experience within the spectrum of services I offer.
“Instead of asking yourself who you are, ask yourself how do you want to feel.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: As a neurodivergent human, the concept of passions can be a tough one. There are so many things that bring me joy and I can find myself completely thrown into them. My biggest overarching passion is being a lifelong learner and sharing knowledge and wisdom as I gather it along the way. I love nature (Plants, plants, plants, and more plants!), art, music, woodworking, meditation, roller derby, reading, horseback riding, working out, travel…I could go on and on. Currently, my focus has been completing my Functional Medicine program, which I successfully graduated from just recently on the 22nd of February, and relaunching my coaching practice. I have worked as a health and mental wellness coach for several years, and this certification adds another beautiful layer of understanding to the whole-person wellness model.
*Functional Medicine (for those who are unfamiliar) determines how and why illness occurs and restores health by addressing the root causes of disease for each individual in order to promote optimal wellness. Its goal is to create an ideal environment for the body to restore itself through sleep & relaxation, nutrition, stress reduction, healthy relationships, and exercise/movement.
As a first responder and survivor of abuse, working specifically in the area of mental wellness and mental health advocacy has been a constant thread throughout my life. Through my own journey, I fought through the stereotypes of those with mental health struggles, the fear of not being worthy of my children, partner, job, or friendships as I struggled silently…and ineffectively. I finally discovered alternate perspectives and ways to look at my experiences, and slowly became renewed in my hope and vision for what was possible. Since then, I have made it my mission to bring joy, balance, creativity, and gratitude more and more into my life, and hopefully, that spills over into those I interact with.
I start my day focusing on my core desired feelings; for this year, I am dedicating myself to feeling creative, powerful, and balanced. This has led me to try new things that bring me closer to those feelings. For example, I began auditioning to be a narrator for audiobooks. I adore reading and have lost the ability to read much for pleasure over the years with school, multiple jobs, and small humans, but to have the opportunity to be both creative in voice acting, balanced in making money while doing something I love, and a bit powerful seeing my name on a title cover and perhaps performing a bit of spice…it’s unlocked the belief that things I didn’t think were possible really are, and if they are possible for me, they can be possible for anyone! So, here I am…mental health and wellness coach, narrator, mother of two boys, and tattooed bad a** …making a powerful impact in my corner of the world.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: As a child, my life was far from traditional. While I don’t think I have nearly enough time here to get into detail, I lived a very secluded life until I was 15. My mother and stepfather let their lives be governed by fear, and that drove them to do some pretty insane things. We were preppers. Deeply rooted in Old Testament teachings, to the extreme. At one point, we lived in an abandoned church in the mountains, living only on our grown or slaughtered food. I never stepped foot in a school or doctor’s office from the time I was five until 15, that I remember. Anything I learned, I learned simply because I longed to know what the world outside tasted and felt like. I read voraciously and would listen to any music I could get my hands on and hide from my parents. I learned a lot of valuable skills during that time. Given the need, I could easily survive out of doors off the land by hunting and foraging for weeks. I can sew, cook, weave baskets, make medicines, and most importantly…survive.
When I was 15, a couple noticed signs of abuse on my body, and within two weeks, I was uprooted from the only family I had known and moved across the country to live with them. I had my first taste of school as a sophomore in high school and life progressed on a wild, tragically beautiful road until now, where I find myself rediscovering, or better yet, fully accepting who I am as a woman, mother, and human. A single day in my life where I do not feel I have enriched a life…even if it’s my own…feels empty…and the opportunity to be a part of healing and recovery with others is one of the greatest gifts I could receive.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I don’t know if I could simply choose one thing I have learned without a bit of anxiety that I am leaving out something more important, but here goes. All the stories we tell ourselves from the time we first begin to put thoughts together DO NOT DEFINE us. We have 3 selves…The one we want to be, the one we let others see, and who we really are. Life is all about balancing and uniting those 3 selves so that we are acting in our fullness always. We waste so much time tearing ourselves between the three, causing heartache, confusion, anger, bitterness, and stagnation. Instead of asking yourself who you are, ask yourself how do you want to feel. When you start there, your interactions with people, the decisions you make at home, and what you tell yourself come into alignment. That might feel a bit woo-woo, but when it clicked in my heart and mind, life completely changed. And, if you get nothing else from my story, I hope you hear this…HOPE. Hope does not die. Who you are is a magical, powerful human with limitless potential, and I am so excited to hold space for who you are and what you are becoming.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: Whooo…love this question. Feminism is fully embracing your you-ness. What is this you-ness you ask? As women, it’s an appreciation for the beautiful mosaic of all elements of our abilities, personalities, power, skills, and passions. It’s recognizing the needs of humanity and creating a space where we can grow and be fully and SAFELY ourselves. Many people think of the contrasting stereotypes of feminism as man-hating, masculine wannabes versus the soft, weak homemakers. Feminine energy is powerful. It’s creative. Compassionate. Feral. Respect, honor, and dignity should be attainable for all, and I value those who speak up and represent the many faces of feminism.
MORE ABOUT MORIAH: I am grateful for the opportunity to share a piece of my story, and for those who take the time to read and make space for people like myself. Whether you are interested in my coaching services, just need a random laugh, get lost in my neurodivergent brain space, or silently watch for the bushes, you are welcome to a safe space.
MORE ABOUT MOVING ON…I have a few practices I have incorporated to manage some of the after-effects of the past. Mindfulness practices/gratitude/meditation are super important, not only for the day-to-day reset, but eventually, regular practice changes the chemistry and structure of the brain, improves cognitive function, sleep, etc. I get excited about that topic! I also use a weighted blanket, which seems simple, but it is an important grounding tool that I use when I am having dissociation, anxiety, etc. It also helps with my overall sleep. I am a strong believer in shadow work. Basically, the concept that there is a part of us we reject. It’s been taught subconsciously, or outright that it is wrong, unacceptable, unloveable, etc. It’s usually why we have such strong negative emotions about certain behaviors, personalities, etc. For example, I was trained that being vocal, un-submissive, questioning authority, etc. was wrong, evil, etc.
For the longest time, even though I wanted to be all those things, speak my truth, set my boundaries…my brain would tell me I was being a B*, or when I saw it in others, they were B’s and not proper or worthy of respect. It caused so much conflict internally because I was a strong, independent, vocal person, but I was in a constant state of trying to reject myself. It is exhausting. Add mental health to the mix, and the subconscious teachings that those with disorders are weak, “crazy” or unfit, and it’s a whole other layer of self-rejection and conflict. Taking intentional time to think about what triggers our “big emotions” as I tell my kiddos, and then really diving into where that specific trigger came from, what pieces of it are valid and should be handled with care, and what pieces are based on untruths and should be gently, but firmly reframed is essential to healing. ALSO, strong supporting of EMDR therapy, EFT tapping, finding support in a group (I take part in a morning manifestation group where women from around the world send voice messages to each other about what we are grateful for, what we are manifesting for today, and manifesting in the future), and medication as a bridge, if necessary.
*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.
Q and A with Jacqueline, Eastover, South Carolina
“There is a purpose in your pain.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I am the pastor of Healing in the Vessel Ministries and an author. I am passionate about seeing people heal spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I have a passion and heart for the youth, which has led me to various positions within the ministry and career field.
Since 2002, I have served as youth director, a mentor, and a Sunday school teacher within my local church. I am a former paralegal, educator, and substance abuse counselor. I use my gift of empowerment to transform lives within my ministry and career field. I found this passion as the Holy Spirit began to reveal itself to me through dreams and the doors that God began to open.
I have just currently finished my new book, From Bitter to Better.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I have earned a Master of Arts in practical theology from Regent University, Master of Counseling from Webster University, Columbia SC, a Master of Pastoral Counseling from Liberty University, Lynchburg VA, an Associate Degree of Paralegal, graduating Magna Cum Laude from South University and a Bachelor of Arts in English from Francis Marion University, Florence SC.
My family includes both of my parents, who empowered me by their love and prayers. I always had a journal since the third grade, which later led me to discover my gift of writing and becoming an author. My various positions led me to become a pastor as God was calling me into that arena.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I have learned that there is a purpose in your pain. Every tear that I have shed has allowed me to become a more reliable vessel so that God can use for His glory to empower, equip, and encourage His people. I would love for others to learn from my story that God still performs miracles.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: Feminism symbolizes the empowerment of women.
Q: What else would you like others to know?
A: My hobbies include running, walking, meditating, and writing, counseling youth, and working in the community. I am the author of Healing in the Vessel: A Mother’s Love A Daughter’s Journey of Faith, and From Bitter to Better. I am the co-author of several anthologies: Grief to Grind Anthology: How did I lose Myself in a Relationship, Meant for My Good, Women of Power II, Hearing God’s Voice Above The Chaos, and It takes Money Honey. I am an international speaker for the I AM Her Women’s Conference. I am an Amazon bestselling author. I have been featured on the cover of I AM Queen Magazine.
*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.
Q and A with Marie, Charlotte, North Carolina
“We live in a self-absorbed society where it’s all about the selfie. It’s natural to think about ourselves because we are human, but we must fight that urge and continue to put others before ourselves. Live in your gifts; when you do, service will come naturally.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: Organizing is my passion or like my obsession. I’ve loved doing it since being a kid; my room was always neatly organized. It’s something that’s always come naturally to me. After having kids, I started realizing I wasn’t living in my gifts and set out to figure out how I could best utilize them. That’s when I discovered blogging and how I could teach others to get organized. I truly believe life is better lived when you are organized. It’s my mission to help women live a better life by being organized. Currently, I’m working on a meal planning course to help women save time, eat healthier, and live better.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: Fargo, North Dakota, is the place I call home (even though I no longer live there), it’s where I was born and raised and wouldn’t change a thing. The roots and people there taught me the importance of hard work and humility. These principles are the foundation of who I am today. My parents taught me many things, including never give up and the importance of having an education because no one can ever take that away from you. I am the oldest of three girls, and we all graduated from college from the same university. Sports were a big part of our lives growing up; there was a sporting event almost every weekend throughout the year. Sports taught us to be resilient and how to work with others because when you get out into the ‘real world,’ that’s what life is all about.
Q: What is something valuable you’ve learned that you’d like others to know?
A: When you are serving others is when you will truly find success. We live in a self-absorbed society where it’s all about the selfie. It’s natural to think about ourselves because we are human, but we must fight that urge and continue to put others before ourselves. Live in your gifts; when you do, service will come naturally. Also, live out of your comfort zone, nothing great comes from there. If it scares you, you are on the right track. Keep showing up, do the work, consistency matters. Everything will fall into place.
Q: What does feminism mean to you?
A: Feminism to me means going for your dreams—no matter how big they are and to not let anyone or anything tell you differently. It’s also standing up for what you believe in regardless of others’ opinions.
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