Woman Wednesday: Maria Tan

*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.        


Q and A with Maria Tan, Entrepreneur Coach, Philippines

True abundance isn’t about what you have. It’s how comfortable you are being you, doing you, and staying you.”

 

Q: What are you passionate about?

A: I love making the impossible possible–turning “crazy ideas” into reality. 

Born into an entrepreneurial, immigrant Chinese family, I was wired into the “work hard, stay in your place, be practical” mentality.

 

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Pictured: We had the “work hard” mentality but HUMOR was a big part of our lives! Here I am in my early twenties with my parents and siblings.

 

Anything outside the norm wasn’t accepted and everything that had to do with dreaming differently wasn’t encouraged. Hobbies, passions, interests that didn’t result in direct payout/profit were kept as such. Little effort would be put into something “frivolous” like playing the piano or theater arts. As a result, I grew up with such a scarcity mindset and lots of self-limiting beliefs. 

 

What’s curious though, I inherited my ancestors’ entrepreneurial skills and was making money from the age of 6 by buying and selling stationery and confectionary items, dried foods, and other things I could sell. Later, I was selling my services as a teacher and consultant. For someone so “young”–I had my choice of clients and was paid above the market rate.

 

 

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Pictured: Me facilitating a communications workshop in Taipei, Taiwan. 

 

But I felt something was missing. I needed to BE MORE and think beyond what to sell next and how to make more money. I talked to my mom about the meaning of life and she pretty much dismissed my question as something frivolous and overreaching. I can’t blame her though–she comes from a generation where having a white picket fence was the dream). After that talk, I went even deeper into depression. I was living my life void of any life. I would go from one task to the next and have no memory of doing so. 

 

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I was honestly contemplating to end my life, but something in me said: “I can’t give up on myself–life has got to be better than this.” I went full-on into exploring my spiritual gifts and somehow I embraced being an empath. When I talked to people, I just knew which buttons to push to help them talk about what really mattered to them. Today, I am able to combine that spiritual gift with my talent in teaching, consulting, and seeing the big picture. 

 

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Check out my homepage: https://www.maria-tan.com/

 

I now coach “Misfits”–people who feel like they can’t conform to the norm and what’s expected of them, to turn their “deepest desires” and “crazy impossible dream” into reality. I help elevate their lives by guiding them in creating an eco-system around who they are and what they offer. 

 

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Q: What is something valuable you’ve learned that you’d like others to know? 

A: True abundance isn’t about what you have. It’s how comfortable you are being you, doing you, and staying you.

I’ve made money from an extremely young age. In fact, making money comes easy to me because I’m good with people and I can sell lots of things. When I was selling my products and services to anyone who wanted to buy, I was working day and night. The money came in fast. But my scarcity mindset back then simply drove me to doing more and feeling disconnected with the part of me that knew I was meant for more.

 

I couldn’t enjoy the money I made and was so concerned about how other people saw me and my means. I made monetary decisions out of the fear that people would look down on me and think I couldn’t afford something. What should be a blessing became a burden. Only after I embraced my spiritual self and embodied a more abundant state of being did I fully appreciate life and find joy in my existence.

 

This may sound like a cliche, but the moment you embrace the totality of who you are, the money will come anyway. So be you, stay you, do you. There is no one like you and the moment you appreciate that about you, the rest of the world will! 

 

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Pictured: This was a big milestone in my life. Since 2013, I sat on different boards and committees of non-profit organizations (Rotary Club and the International Women’s Club). But nothing brought me more honor than being part of an education foundation in 2018. I was a recipient of scholarship since I was 11 until about my college years. To be part of this education foundation was me paying it forward. 

 

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Q: What does feminism mean to you? 

A: I was actually brought up in a matriarchal society. Even within my extended families, women are held in high regard. In fact, women can be so strong and as capable as the men in my family, but they wouldn’t be dressed down for “failure” as a male would.

 

When I left my home country (the Philippines) to pursue my tertiary education is when I saw the favorable treatment to men. I was harassed by a male professor and when I asked an administrator where I could file a complaint, I was strongly suggested not to. The reason was simply “You’re female and you’re from the Philippines. In this country, people listen to males, especially those that came from a developed country.” 

 

I never felt more violated than the moment I heard that. And I vowed since then never to let my nationality or my gender get in the way of empowerment. Feminism, for me, isn’t about equal rights. It’s about mutual respect and compassion. That country had “equal rights” but the societal beliefs then were programmed against women.

The way I was brought up, women are heard. When a woman isn’t happy, the entire family walks on eggshells. Women are loved for being caring and nurturing, for thinking of everyone’s needs, and for being non-linear in their thinking. Women are respected because they make life easier. 

That, for me, is feminism.

 

Connect with me! I’d love to chat with you! 

Maria Tan is an Entrepreneur Coach for Misfits (people who don’t like to conform to the norm), Multipassionates (people who are extremely multifaceted and multitalented), and Millennials (people born between 1981-1996). She helps her clients create an eco-system around who they are and what they offer. She’s taught more than 1000 people from all over the world! Connect with her on IG (@maria_k_tan) and check out her website (www.maria-tan.com). 

 

Thoughts, questions, or comments?

Comment below! 🙂

Woman Wednesday: Helaina, 911 Survivor

*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.        


Helaina Hovitz from New York, New York

Helaina Hovitz was twelve and in middle school three blocks from the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001.

“I started trying to put myself back together—first, in 12-step programs, where I learned to stop relying on substances to quiet the chatter in my mind.”

 

Anyone who has survived a horrific event knows that just because a body remains in motion does not mean everything will simply “go back to normal.” The chemistry of the brain and the body changes, impacting our relationships, our choices, and how we experience the world around us. Yet, we rarely find out what actually happens to people as they try to move on from a life-threatening experience—especially children, who are just beginning to develop an understanding of the world around them.

 

You remember where you were on September 11, 2001. We all do. For me, it was the second day of seventh grade at I.S. 89, the middle school just three blocks from the World Trade Center. My first-period teacher, Mr. H., was beginning a lesson when what sounded like a giant whirring motor interrupted him. Moments later a teacher knocked on the door and told us that someone had bombed the World Trade Center. We were quickly ushered to the cafeteria.

No one at the school knew what had really happened, but shortly after the second plane hit the South Tower, the bomb squad burst in and announced that we had to evacuate. Droves of hysterical parents arrived to take their kids. My mom and dad were stuck at their offices, but I spotted my neighbor Ann and her son Charles, whom I walked to school with every day. I wanted to go home. They could get me there. Through the oppressive smoke and ash, we tried to make it back, but police blocked our usual route. The street under us rumbled. Shards of glass and concrete screeched down all around. “Cover your faces!” Ann shouted. “Don’t look back, and run!”

 

At 22, I identified as an alcoholic and was often the youngest one in many of the 12-step meeting rooms (I didn’t need to go to rehab). I never picked up a drink again. Life became more fun than it had ever really been because my feelings were real. Girls my own age wanted to be friends and hang out with me, do things like go to the movies or have brunch. There was plenty to do that didn’t involve drinking when you knew where to look for it, and about two years into sobriety, when I had worked on myself, not just through CBT, DBT, meditation, and the steps, I had rebuilt the life and identity I never had the chance to when my world came crashing down at age 12. Like the woman I had only imagined, I would be my wildest fantasies—calm, patient, clever, understanding, selfless, and rational—I began to build a life and welcome people into it who made me feel happy.

Most of all, these tools made me feel safe in the world again, and safe in my own skin. Safe in my own ability to be “okay” no matter how painful or stressful things got. Changing my perspective and expectations for “fun” also changed the game—when I started thinking about what I could bring to or contribute to a situation, how I could help someone else laugh or feel happy, rather than what I could “get from it.”

A wise teacher once told me that before you can feel happy, or loved, or give love or make someone else happy, you have to feel safe. And that was when life became fun: because I had the capacity to feel it.

Through meditation, I found peace between my thoughts. Through yoga, which can still be a challenge, I began to focus on the moment. Now, when the subway stops suddenly, my adrenaline doesn’t surge. I distract myself with emails, listen to my favorite song, or think about what’s for dinner. Panic wants to creep in, but its seduction doesn’t work anymore. I can let it go. [Eighteen years ago] today, more than 3,000 people died and more than 6,000 were injured. Thousands more survived but were forever changed—myself among them. But today, I’m finally able to move on. I’ve learned the best way to work through my fear is simply to stay still. No more reaching, no more fighting. And no more running.

I have shared my story with the world.

In many ways, After 9/11 is the story of an entire generation growing up in the aftermath of America’s darkest day. It is the story of a group of children who directly survived September 11th, 2001, and bore its invisible scars for the rest of their lives. And, for one young woman, it is the story of a survivor who, after witnessing the end, got to make a new beginning.

 

The events and experiences that are now common knowledge to everyone were a very real part of Helaina’s life, and are still as vivid in her memory today: the sickening thud of falling bodies hitting cars, the crumbling towers, running for her life as she tried to get home, her universe engulfed literally in a cloud. Hundreds, including Helaina, were stranded in the neighborhood, also just blocks from the fiery remains of the Towers, without phones or electricity or anyone to help. For fear of subsequent attacks, not to mention the toxic substances in the air, everyone was urged to stay inside their debris-filled apartments.

 

Helvaina’s page

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Thank you for reading. What’s your experience or memory of 9/11?

Comment below.

Woman Wednesday: Nancy

*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.        


Q and A with Nancy, Puerto Rico

“Life is all about working with what bothers us, not giving power to the problem but looking for solutions. And it is precisely why I tell my story. I had all the reasons to give up and be a “no one” in life.”

 

Q: Tell us about yourself.

A: I was born in North Carolina, USA, but I grew up in Puerto Rico. I have an incredible mix of culture and beliefs and I’m fully bilingual, thanks to this.  I’m the mother of a girl who is 17 and a boy who is 9. I’m a coach, educator, lecturer/motivator, host of a radio program “Lazos Latinos” and businesswoman–President of Family Secret Helpers, Inc., and Founder of the projects: BEmpower Women, Strong Military Family and Fundación Félix Fuentes. Also, I’m the creator of the event Mujer Empoderando (a women empowerment event).

 

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Q: What are you passionate about?

A: I love to help and empower people, families, couples, and the community. Seeing the transformation in people is something incredible. Many times, people just need help, a word of motivation to help them take a step and get out of their current situation, turn their passions/ideas into a business or make decisions. I like to work for causes, give a voice to those that can’t talk, help the needy, put on the worker’s boots, and reach out to those who feel lost. These things bring me emotion. I feel that I am collaborating to make our world better, and I know it may sound very common, but it is a reality, the satisfaction that I get when I see the transformations is one of the best feelings that I have been able to experience.

 

Another detail is that I feel good knowing that my kids are seeing me as a positive example. After all, they are the future. Seeing their faces when we achieve a goal and see them get involved in our projects gives me peace knowing that whatever happens, our legacy will continue for generations. I worked for 11 years as a teacher and then I directed educational projects in a nonprofit corporation. I became certified in coaching and studied psychology, all in order to be able to help people.

 

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In 2012, I founded my nonprofit corporation, Family Secret Helpers, Inc. During the last few years, we have been able to help families, people, and communities. We have had ups and downs, but today, we are on a very good road. Family Secret Helpers has a mission to provide empowerment tools to people who need to balance their lives and rebuild their relationships–personally and professionally through our events, training programs, and coaching training.

 

 

Q: What were your younger years like?

A: The first years of my life were very difficult. My parents got divorced when I was 12. My mother understood that the best thing for my brother and I was to live in Puerto Rico. When I lived with both of my parents, I experienced domestic violence. I swore that if one day I was a mother, I would do everything possible so that my children would not go through what my brother and I lived through. Thanks to the experiences, today I am who I am and I am dedicated to helping people.

 

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Q: What is something valuable you’ve learned that you’d like others to know? 

A: We have all gone through times when we thought we could not continue, moments when we thought we could not get out of that situation, at which time we felt that the roof of our house was falling on us.

The reality is that we all have drowned in a glass of water. We have all faced great challenges. We all have failed. We have all had a voice that has told us that we cannot do it. We have all been through a betrayal. Some have experienced more intensity than others, but we all have lived a moment in our lives that we would like to erase or not remember. The question is, what stops you from living that life which you have dreamed? The answer: YOU!

 

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During the last few years, I have had the opportunity to work with many people, help them find their passion, find the tools so they can live the life they have always dreamed of and overcome their fear to make important decisions in their life. I remember one Sunday, after finishing my radio program, I received a phone call from one of the radio listeners, who thanked me because she had been thinking about committing suicide. I can tell you that moment I had goosebumps, she told me for some reason she had put on the station and listened to the program that day, the words I had said helped her understand that the solution was not to end her life, but to face that which tormented her so much.

Life is all about working with what bothers us, not giving power to the problem but looking for solutions. And it is precisely why I tell my story. I had all the reasons to give up and be a “no one” in life. I offer people tools so that they can leave the comfort zone and dare them to start doing wonderful things and see life with different eyes. I know that those who lived with me during the dark stages of my life are surprised with who I became, as I’m also sure that those who know me now would be surprised to know that I had such a dark past.

Most people, especially women, think about the idea that we should live the life that society has prescribed for us. If we deviate from that path, they ridicule us, label us, and isolate us.

 

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Q: What does feminism mean to you? 

A: Feminism is a movement that pursues social change by combating the discrimination suffered by women for the simple fact of being a woman. In these times, there are countries where being a woman is really complicated due to the suppression of rights and the discrimination that exists. There are places where women, for the simple fact of being so, have to fight against social barriers and injustices: forced marriage, veto in politics, or wage inequality–just some of them.

I confess that as I write these lines, my eyes are full of tears. I find it so difficult to believe in these times there are so many women living a life with so many limitations, submerged to what society decides.

 

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Today, there are many women who are in charge of organizations that serve to empower women. Groups that help other women to leave abusive relationships. Companies that offer women tools to convert their ideas and passions into businesses. One of these is our project, BEmpower Women. Like this project, there are many groups to support you. This means that you are not alone and that there is no reason to walk on this new route alone.

What I have learned with my work is the power of women. We have to be available, open, and receptive to make enormous transformations in us. I invite you to continue, believe, empower yourself, and to know you will find excellent tools that will help and motivate you. Don’t ever give up!

Finally, my mission does not end–while there are women who are not yet free. Empowering women and fighting for the rights of women is a mission I will continue for many years.

Links to my site/social media:

Website/Blog: www.familysecrethelpers.com

Facebook:
@FamilySecretHelpers
@BEmpowerWomen
@StrongMilitaryFamily

Instagram:
@familysecrethelpers
@bempower_women
@strongmilitaryfamily

 

Family Secret Helpers has other projects:

– Strong Military Family helps to empower and assist veterans, military, and their families.
– BEmpower Women empowers women in different facets of their lives.
– Fundación Felix Fuentes, the most recent project that joined our services, offers support groups, coaching, and assistance to those who are experiencing the grieving process.
– Mujer Empoderando event gives women who are business owners the opportunity to exhibit, promote, and sell their products and services. In the event, we also offer talks and workshop in the business, personal growth, beauty, health, and lifestyle areas.

In addition, I am the author of the book, Compartiendo Vivencias, which is for sale at amazon.com. The book’s goal is to empower those who read it. I am in the process of finishing my second book, Empútate. This book is going to empower, inspire, and motivate women.

To learn more about what we do, you can visit www.familysecrethelpers.com

 

Connect with me! I’d love to chat with you! 

Comment below!

Woman Wednesday: Melissa

*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.        


Q and A with Melissa, Utah 

I learned very early on that I could either be a victim of circumstance or I could take those challenges and grow from them. I try really hard to be a force of positivity and a problem solver.”

 

Q: What are you passionate about?

A: I am most passionate about my family! My husband and I have been together for 6 years, and he has a son who is 7. And just last year, I had a beautiful baby girl. She is actually the reason I started my business. After finding out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to be around for all those precious moments and I knew I could never afford childcare making the money I was at the time. So after thinking about my skills, I decided being a virtual assistant and social media manager was the best type of business to start. After I started, I realized I was more passionate about working than I had ever been, plus I was good at it!

 

Aside from business and family, I am actually super passionate about fitness because it has helped shape me into the woman I am today and has helped me deal with my depression. I enjoy having goals that I can work towards and fitness has provided that in my personal life! 

 

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Q: What were your younger years like?

A: As a little kid, I was a competitive figure skater and a cheerleader in my later high school years. I was always good at school and remember enjoying it very much up until my senior year of high school. I even graduated early because I hated high school so much! I think this particular event helped me grow up quickly though and all the competitive sports I was in really helped shape me into a go-getter! 

 

I grew up in a very conservative family but have always been super loud and outspoken. This caused issues when I was a teen and I did lots of things to push boundaries (sorry mom and dad). I was diagnosed with chronic depression at about 12-13, but I think this mental illness is a huge reason why I am successful today. I never once let that define me and only let it push me to work harder and stay busy. 

 

 

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Q: What is something valuable you’ve learned that you’d like others to know? 

A: I learned very early on that I could either be a victim of circumstance or I could take those challenges and grow from them. I try really hard to be a force of positivity and a problem solver. I think if you take anything from my story it’s that you are in charge of your life! No one can force you to do anything, be anything, or act a certain way. You make decisions every day, so why not decide to grab life by the horns? Start a business, go to school, or travel the world. But whatever you do, make the decision to give it your all every day.

 

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Q: What does feminism mean to you? 

A: Feminism to me means equality for all. I know feminism is often synonymous with mainly white women and their rights, but I think as women, it is our responsibility to make sure that we are sticking up for women of color as well who don’t have the same level of privilege we do. I think feminism means the equal representation of all women in business and government. I feel like, as women, we are a force to be reckoned with and I would love to see us supporting each other in all things!

 

Business Facebook: The Worry Free Assistant  (sentence caps–no hyphen!)

Website: https://melissagamarramanagement.com/homepage31194097

 

 

Connect with me! I’d love to chat with you! 

Comment below!

Woman Wednesday: Kristen S.

*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.        


Q and A with Kristen, Texas 

I once felt like a slave to my debt. It controlled nearly all of my decisions. I learned how to take charge! I want everyone to know, you’re not alone!

 

Q: What are you passionate about?

A: Hello! I’m Kristen Sierra. I’m a financial healer and an accountant. I discovered my passion for financial healing when I was on my own journey out of debt. I enjoyed the puzzle aspect of it a lot, but the part I love most now is being able to work with and help others. I feel like debt is a sort of plague that affects many and is difficult to heal from. I just want to save everyone! I’m currently developing an online group coaching program. We will focus on mindset, accountability, budget tips, financial communication, financial planning, and more! Enrollment has just begun! 

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Q: What were your younger years like?

A: I grew up in a big family. We didn’t always have tons of money, but I never felt poor. My mom was amazing at stretching a recipe, finding free family activities and planning ahead. She taught me so much! As a mom of five, I use many of her tricks in my home now. My mom is also an accountant. I discovered my love for accounting as a teenager when I did work for her. In my very early childhood (and before), my mom had many challenges with her first marriage. She rose above them all and taught her daughters, by example, how to be strong, confident, and to create our own circumstances. 

Q: What is something valuable you’ve learned that you’d like others to know? 

A: I have learned that no situation is hopeless. It’s not too late to rise above your situation and make your life your own. While I haven’t had as severe or as many struggles as my mom, I once felt like a slave to my debt. It controlled nearly all of my decisions. I have since learned how to speak to creditors, how to communicate my circumstances, how to stop shaming myself. I learned how to take charge! I want everyone to know that you’re not alone!

Q: What does feminism mean to you? 

A: To me, feminism is about being in charge of my life and making myself heard. It is about leading through example. Feminism is about teaching my daughters to be strong, compassionate, responsible, independent, and aware members of society. It is about teaching my sons to love and respect women. Feminism is about equal value teamwork and building up those around us; men or women.

If you are interested in reaching out to me, I can be reached at: 

Email – krissierrabooks@gmail.com

Facebook group (coming soon, so bear with me on it!) Everyone starts somewhere! 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/healingfamilyfinances/

Connect with me! I’d love to chat with you! 

Comment below!