“If you don’t fail at some point, you don’t really appreciate how great the great is.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: There are so many things I’m passionate about: family, nature, chocolate, my dog, how colors work together, patterns. The list goes on; I draw on nature for almost all of my inspiration. I’m often out on a bike ride or run and see things—little stories unfold—and that becomes a seed for my next design. Or I may take a photo of a plant, maybe just one little baby leaf because it has chartreuse, hunter, and eggplant with a tiny splash of fuchsia and that completely winds me up. I can see an entire storyline unfold, a complete collection based on that one little leaf. I’ve always been this way. My mother used to tell me how impossible I was to shop for because I would design something in my head and tell her that’s what I wanted! Currently, I’m developing concepts for a boutique in Telluride that has asked for an exclusive line of wool/silk scarves. Then I will be jumping on ideas for our summer line of scarves and linens.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I grew up in New Orleans; my mother’s family is all from South Louisiana. So, as you can expect, I was surrounded by amazing culture: food and music and dancing and the smells of New Orleans like jasmine, camellias, magnolias, the swamps, seafood. All of this combined was a tremendous source of where my love for design started.
We moved to Telluride, CO, when I was 11. That’s where I really embraced the outdoors and nature. Then there were the women in my family, strong women. My mother and my grandmother, both a force to be reckoned with. They were and are both the epitome of good taste. My grandmother was of the opinion that a crisp white blouse, a good shade of red lipstick, and perfume was pretty much all you needed to get dressed! It was her collection of scarves that inspired me to design my own. My mother, her eye for color, has always been the most on point. I still discuss all my designs with her. She was the reason I took risks in my life; anything I did that could have been viewed as risky, she was behind it. She encouraged me to go abroad when I was 15 on exchange, and she is still my ski buddy. She gave me my love of travel and not being afraid to put myself out there. She encourages me to push my design further with little suggestions or ideas.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: Failure is a part of life. If you don’t fail at some point, you don’t really appreciate how great the great is. I know people that feel failure is a bad thing. Yes, it’s scary as hell, but it’s usually something you can handle and learn from. Embrace it and dig in.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: To me, feminism is being true to your female self. It’s a powerful force. I’ve seen that in my mother and grandmother, and now in myself and in my two daughters. We’re each incredibly strong in our own way, and we’re not alike. But we’re true to our feminine selves because of the strength that entails.
“The world is literally waiting for you to go out and be all you can.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: We all have an amazing counselor ready and willing 24/7 to direct our steps, just ask! I am most passionate about God. I am passionate about many things, including my family and friends. I truly love learning new things, traveling, writing, trivia, reading, beauty, health, having fun, fine dining, and so much more. I am currently extremely passionate about floral designing. In the last two years, I have taught myself through videos, a mentor, and hands-on trial and error. I am the owner of aellasfloral.com, and my Facebook group is Wooden Roses Texas. I always say success follows your last meltdown because as it turns out, this advice is so true. I became frustrated at wearing “all the hats” and contemplated quitting. Just as my frustration grew, I got a message out of the blue from a TV producer that had viewed one of my designs on the internet and invited me to be featured on TV introducing my floral company! Feel free to view my full 10-minute interview here:https://vimeo.com
I have been an entrepreneur for 25 years and have experienced many ups and downs, but I would not change a thing; I love being my own boss and anyone else’s that will let me [she laughs]. My awesome husband of 25 years and I have successfully owned our construction business for over 20 years. However, not all of my many “mini businesses” have been successful and each one has a common reason! Just a few I have started include bath bombs, sport towels, wooden roses, postcards, gift/spa baskets, eBay selling, Avon, Mary Kay, and there were others. Truthfully, I never thought I had any talent whatsoever until the Lord, through amazing mentors, encouraged me and showed me I do have talent…that actually, I’m very talented and always have been. Fear had sold me short over and over again. Please don’t ever let this happen to you; face it, speak to it, and get rid of it!
When I started the gift/spa basket business, I spent literally 6 months straight doing nothing but teaching myself how to write code and design my own website. I ordered hundreds of products, took photos, and set up an amazing website. I had no skills in finding customers, so after I paid for hosting 3 months and never received 1 order, I quit. As it would turn out, a month after I quit, I got an order from (not family or friends that buy because they love you) but a complete stranger, a grandfather looking for a gift for his granddaughter! It was too late for me to go back; I had completely quit! This business could have been wildly successful if I had not given up.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I grew up in East Texas with my grandparents, Dad, and sister. I’m forever grateful my Mammaw had me in church three times a week. It was there I met Jesus and was saved. My sister and I were like most siblings having fights, but we were always close and still are. I was a bit of an entertainer as a child…always seeking attention. I’m told that when I was 5 years old, I brought a water hose in the house and sprayed my grandma’s guest Tupperware so the guests would leave and I would get all of Grandma’s attention back on me! I loved riding motorcycles, horses, and playing in the woods until dark. I moved to the city as a teen to live with my mom and siblings. I got married and pregnant at 16 and remained a stay-at-home mom until my youngest of three left for college. Being an entrepreneur allowed me this choice. One thing I’m very proud of is the fact I was able, with my two girls, to break the teen pregnancy cycle in our family. Both of my girls graduated college. My son, at age 39, has a two-year-old that we adore, and one of my daughters, at 35, has a 6-month-old that we’re proud of.
One of the greatest compliments of my life came when I was giving advice to a friend and she jokingly said, “Okay, Mother Teresa.” And I thought, “Wow…thank you…if only.” I admired her very much and could only hope to be like her! I’ve learned so many valuable lessons in my 56 years; I could write a book and who knows…maybe I will.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I would say to my children, grandchildren, and all of you that the world is literally waiting for you to go out and be all you can. Go to your great Counselor with any and all concerns. He truly loves you. Never let bitterness grow in your heart, forgive quickly. Know your self-worth and please, please always keep your sense of humor.
Wearing all of the hats is not easy, but the good news is that eventually, you will be able to hire help and do what you love most. It is totally okay to quit for a day or two, but after that, go back to it with a new perspective!
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about ‘ism’ words, but for me personally, feminism means to just do it, feel good about it, and know “it’s my best and it is worthy.” For women around the world, feminism means supporting each other and demanding equal treatment to that of men rather it’s accolades, salary, or anything else. You are a beautiful, smart, talented, and amazing human being. Life is short; enjoy it in increments of pleasurable moments. Go out, smile, and encourage someone today. We are all super stars!
Q and A with Charli B., from Sydney, Australia; born and raised in Brisbane, Australia.
“We are growing in a world that is rapidly changing and open to change. It’s time, now more then ever, to start believing in yourself and creating a life you’re proud of.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I’m passionate about changing the way women view the lifestyle we are trained to believe is the way of life. I don’t believe we have to go to university to get a degree to then work a 9-to-5 job we hate to survive. I believe in living—living to your worth, your passions, and doing what you love, which is why I became a business coach. [I want] to teach women that there’s more to life than the 9-5 and to help them to believe in themselves and to take a chance on themselves. I’m a 19-year-old entrepreneur who skipped university to create a life for herself and family. At 19, I was given the position of head of marketing as the marketing and engagement manager in a financial company. I also run my own successful, international business and run it all by myself. I’m not saying this to show of; I’m saying this to show you it’s possible. Trust yourself and believe in yourself enough to take a chance.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: Four years ago, while I was in high school, my life was accompanied by loneliness and depression. Life felt so ordinary, empty, and predictable. It was mundane, and I felt unfulfilled. I started to notice the negativity I was surrounding myself with and the life I had built. I realized that I was merely surviving. I was annoyed at the world and above all, annoyed at myself. I felt alone, unwanted, and betrayed. How do all of these people have such beautiful lives, living peacefully with themselves, and I am stuck with me?
I took my frustration and self-hatred out on boys and partners, becoming obsessed with the need to have someone love me, whether it be for a night or a couple of months. I started attaching myself to guys no matter how they treated me; at least it took my attention away from having to deal with myself. But I knew there was more to life. I knew this was not what I wanted my future to look like. The idea that “this was it” made me angry. I was unwilling to settle for “this.” It led me on a path to question my life.
I was seeking advice, looking for solutions, and finding out who I was. I started back at the beginning and stripped every layer back. I looked at my root cause and every experience that had led me to where I was, and I started one after the other to work through them and accept it for what it was. I started to find and discover who I was. I become a YouTuber, a social media influencer, a model, all of which had a great impact on who I am today.
With the skills I learned from these businesses, I started to understand business and understand what makes you stand out from the rest, how social media can have a great impact on your business and influence. Not too long after, I found the personal development world where everything started to make sense, which is when I became a mindset coach. Using the skills I had learned through my own personal experience and trainings I had, I started to develop a greater understanding for how people work, how sales work, and how much of an impact our mindset has on our success. After two years of being obsessed with growth and development, I was able to allow myself to love and accept myself. I finally was able to run my own business, and do it properly…without the obsessive negative talk, mindset, and lack of self trust holding me back. In 2020, I moved from mindset coach to business coach! I developed my own strategies and systems for my business now having nailed it through my periods business, which is how I help my clients grow and develop their businesses and get constant leads and clients.
While working a full-time job and with the effects of COVID-19, I knew it was now or never. I invested $5k into my first coaching business while, living payday to payday with little than $4 left in my account each month. I was determined to give myself and my loved ones the lives they deserve, and to help my clients provide an incredible life for themselves and their families as well! The time and love you put into your business will allow you to share that with others. Self-hatred and your internal battle stops you from living. Stops you from creating what you want and living true to your passion. It keeps you in survival mode and doesn’t allow you to grow and thrive. I want to share this because I once suffered from anxiety and depression; I once lived in self-hatred and with limiting beliefs; I wasn’t an A grade student. I was able to get conquer dyslexia. And I have taken life lessons from everything I did to improve myself and utilized this to propel my business. Growing a business will test everything you have, and it’s important to have the backup support and strategies to do it right! Now, I stand here and in front of you, grateful and fulfilled, to lift and inspire you and to testify that I was once there too. Now, I have created a life for myself. I am not special or any different than you.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: There is another way; life doesn’t have to be this stereotypical life cycle. We are growing in a world that is rapidly changing and open to change. It’s time, now more then ever, to start believing in yourself and creating a life you’re proud of. I spent a lot of my year stuck in a nasty, negative relationship with myself, including self-hating, putting myself down, and self-blaming, which then created the life I had. Dull, boring, depressing, unsuccessful. I was sick and tired of it. I was annoyed that ‘this was it,’ so I made a really big change and started my self-love journey. I’m very proud to say that, two years later, I have created a life I’m proud of. I love and am excited about all because I knew it stopped and started with me, my mindset, and what I focused on.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: Feminism, to me, means the art of a woman understanding her power, worth, and respecting herself. I believe it’s a woman coming into her own, having that ‘I’m a boss a** b**ch’ feeling and giving herself the permission to be fully self-expressed.
“I don’t want to be known for what I look like, and I don’t want to be treated any differently just because I am a woman.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: There are a lot of things I am passionate about. One is my job. I started my career as a correctional officer in a large metropolitan jail in Minnesota. While I loved the setting and population, I decided to leave to pursue higher education and a career in psychology. Thereafter, I earned a master’s and doctorate in clinical psychology, and I worked in several state and federal prisons throughout my training. Now, I work as a forensic psychologist. I complete competency, criminal responsibility, civil commitment, patterned sex offender, and risk assessment evaluations. My work consists of reviewing police discovery (e.g., crime scene photographs, video and audio recordings, legal documents) and other records, interviewing defendants, administering and interpreting psychological tests, writing a report, and then testifying in court as an expert witness. Recently, I started a private practice, through which I also provide supervision, serve as a business consultant, and review research proposals. Given that my work can be mentally and emotionally draining, I maintain balance with activities I am passionate about. Specifically, I always need to have both physical and creative outlets. For example, I train in boxing and Brazilian jiu jitsu (BJJ) and I have another business as a freelance makeup artist. Other things I am passionate about are cooking, traveling, salsa dancing, and gardening.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: My parents started a business planning performing tours for high school music groups when I was three years old. My father brought my sister and me on the road with him and taught us about the business from an early age. This has hugely impacted my life, as I am now a business owner myself. The business also allowed us to travel as a family. By the time I was 18 years old, I had visited all 50 states and dozens of countries. Aside from travel, however, my parents made sure we were exposed to other cultures, customs, and languages. We had very close friends from Nigeria and three exchange students (they were from Mexico, Argentina, and Poland). I, too, studied abroad twice, spending a semester each in Mexico and Spain. I also backpacked around Europe for one month. I feel so fortunate to have had these opportunities. Travel has taught me independence and confidence. I have gained a new perspective in life and appreciation for what I have. I also learned the value of speaking another language. My goal is to always have traveled to at least as many countries as I am years old. Another significant and related aspect of my childhood was cooking. My father loves to cook and he shared his love of it with me. It was something we often did together. He cooked two new dishes each week, and often, we tried foods from all over the world. Cooking for friends and family brings people together and is an act of caring and giving. It was also way I could connect with my Italian heritage and explore other cultures.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I hold several important lessons with me. One is to be humble, ask questions, and always be open to feedback. At the same time, however, know your worth, believe in yourself, and walk the world with confidence. Despite holding a doctorate in clinical psychology and being considered an expert witness in court, it took me a long time to feel confident. I always assumed there were so many other, more experienced clinicians than I. Likewise, it has always been hard for me to ask for the compensation I deserve. Nevertheless, you have to be your own best advocate. Second, as an introvert, I hated the idea of networking. It felt so disingenuous. Inevitably, however, most career opportunities arise via word of mouth. Also, it doesn’t have to be inauthentic. Form friendships, reach out, ask questions, and make an effort to stay in touch. Third, it really is a small world. This is especially true in my field. There are only two state agencies that employ forensic psychologists, so we all know one another. This is also the case throughout the country. Therefore, it’s so important to comport yourself professionally and never burn any bridges.
Your reputation matters. Fourth, I have learned I must always find balance. I have taken on a lot of endeavors and am always busy. I work full-time, own two companies, have several side gigs and contracts, develop professional presentations, write manuscripts for publication, and am seeking board certification. I also dedicate my time to several hobbies and need to set time aside for my family, my friends, and myself. This is a constant juggle and I am often overwhelmed and exhausted. It’s important for me to stay in tune with those feelings, self-care, and prioritize so I don’t get burned out. Lastly, I am always pushing myself to do things that scare me or that I don’t believe I can accomplish. Whenever I have doubts, I want to prove to myself that I am capable of achieving what I set out to do, even if it’s hard. As a result, I have earned a doctorate, started two businesses, run an ultra marathon, gone skydiving, and gone scuba diving in narrow cave passages, among other things. It is my perseverance in the face of self-doubt that I am most proud of.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: When I was younger, I hated dresses, the color pink, and anything else I perceived to be “girly.” I felt that the only way I could establish myself on equal footing with the boys and find acceptance was to reject my feminine side. As an adult, I have always worked in male-dominated environments and participated in male-dominant sports (e.g., hockey, mountain biking, boxing, BJJ). This led to a lot of inaccurate assumptions, unwanted attention, and unfair treatment. Being told I couldn’t do something because I was a woman was also a frequent occurrence. An ex-boyfriend once told me I couldn’t be a forensic psychologist, and my uncle told me girls don’t play hockey or box. Unfortunately for them, I like to challenge people’s assumptions and prove them wrong, so I did all three. As a correctional officer, my male co-workers didn’t think I was capable of performing my job as well as they were. I was dismissed as just filling a quota and I was the subject of sexual harassment. When I resigned from my position, they admitted they made bets about how long it would take before I cried and quit. Despite making a significant effort to dress professionally and conservatively while working in prisons, my physical appearance was the topic of conversation. People were always surprised when I told them where I worked, as if I didn’t fit the mold. I once had a female supervisor suggest I wasn’t even like the other female correctional officers because I didn’t play hockey (I did). Similarly, on the mats, men did everything they could to prevent being beat by a woman or they were patronizing. I don’t want to be known for what I look like, and I don’t want to be treated any differently just because I am a woman. Therefore, I am particularly interested in paving the way for other women working in correctional environments or joining male-dominated sports. My goal is to help women garner respect, rather than be patronized or objectified. I make it a point to try to address these issues whenever they come to my attention. I want to challenge people’s assumptions, or at the very least, advocate for what I believe in. I also want women to be able to both embrace their femininity and find success and respect in male-dominated arenas. As cliché as it is, I had to learn to accept myself, rather than trying to prove my worth or and what people expect of me. Who I am is a quiet, unassuming makeup artist who is trained in mixed martial arts and interviews murderers for a living.
“I think if I started training just to get abs, I would have stopped after 2 weeks.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: I’m passionate about self improvement. My motto in life is, “When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” This has been so evident in my life since I decided to take my health and fitness seriously. As I started exercising, I saw myself getting stronger and fitter, and when I would reach a new personal best on an exercise, I would ask myself, “What else am I capable of?” This made me want to take risks and try new things in other areas of my life, including my career and relationships. I got out of a toxic relationship and made so many new friends. I also made the leap to become self-employed as a personal trainer helping other women and showing them what can happen when you decide to improve your health and fitness.
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I moved a lot when I was young, moving between my mum in Zimbabwe and my dad in Scotland. I finally settled in Aberdeen, Scotland, at the age of 8. I went to school there and did a year of civil and structural engineering at Aberdeen University, but I realized it wasn’t the course for me, so I dropped out and, shortly after, moved to Manchester where I launched a fashion App, but sadly, [I] couldn’t get funding to grow the business, so I got a job. At this time, I was in a bad relationship and wasn’t happy with my career either so I started reading about personal development.
I just wanted to feel better about myself, so I decided I would do something every day that would make me proud of myself. I knew that if I wanted to stay consistent with it, I needed to make it so easy for myself so that I couldn’t make excuses. So, I started running for just 10 minutes a day. Fast forward 6 months later, I was doing 30 minutes plus a day with some rest days here and there. I then made a decision to join the gym, and 5 years later, I’ve never looked back and never will! Health and fitness is part of my life; it made me a better person.
Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?
A: I think one thing that made me stick to exercising regularly and ultimately transforming my whole life is that I focused on something deeper than the physical. I think if I started training just to get abs, I would have stopped after 2 weeks. I just want to help other women realize what limitless potential lies within them only if they dedicate to improving themselves: physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Q:What does feminism mean to you?
A: To me, feminism means equality for all people regardless of gender, sexuality, or background. It means women supporting one another and empowering each other in an effort to achieve this goal of equality together.
The Woman Wednesday Blog 