Q and A with Philomena from Dublin, Ireland

“You are the leading lady in your own life, so write your own script.”

Q: What are you passionate about?

A: That’s easy—helping women in their 30s get clear on what they actually want, drop the constant comparison, and start building a life that feels right for them. It hasn’t always been this way for me. For a long time, I was caught up in trying to tick all the boxes—chasing someone else’s version of success, always feeling behind. It took a while, but I got to a point where I realized that wasn’t working, and I needed to figure out what I actually wanted.

Once I started focusing on what aligned with me and stopped stressing about where I “should” be, everything changed. Now, I’m on a mission to help other women do the same.

Currently, I’m working on two major projects: First, I’m a mindset and clarity coach offering a 12-week coaching program that helps women figure out what they really want and cut through the noise of external expectations. We focus on breaking limiting beliefs, creating goals that feel meaningful, and developing a mindset that empowers you to get there. It’s about reclaiming your life—on your terms.

Second, I’m also running 30 & Thriving Tribe, it’s an online group where I provide free weekly training for women in their 30s who are tired of feeling like they’re running in circles. This is a space for those who are ready to stop worrying about where they “should” be and start figuring out where they actually want to go. It’s about gaining clarity, confidence, and the courage to take the steps that lead to a life you love. It is a community of likeminded women there to relate and lift each other up, helping other women break free from the bullshit expectations, and start thriving. That’s what gets me up in the morning. Because I know what it feels like to be stuck, and I’m here to show them that they can rewrite their own story, just like I did. And my favorite line right now is–You are the leading lady in your own life, so write your own script.

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Q: What were your younger years like?

A: I went to an all-girls school for both primary and secondary school in Dublin, Ireland. I then went on to do a one-year course to become a legal secretary–I never took this route; instead, after this course, I travelled the world for a year with my sister. I was actually very undecided whether to go, but am so glad I did; I had so many amazing experiences that I will hold with me forever.

I am super close to my family, they are so so supportive of me and I really am blessed. I know not everyone is as fortunate in this area, so I truly am very grateful to be in this position. They encourage me to follow my dreams, lift me up when I need it, and most importantly they are ALWAYS there for me. I love them so much.

After a toxic and narcissistic relationship, I didn’t think good men existed, but, they do, and I am in a happy committed relationship now that we call a partnership, and we are the best team! I love learning new things and growing as a person, so I have done a lot of education courses and hobbies that have earned me diplomas and certificates in everything ranging from business management, beauty, and Reiki to name a few (I know all very different areas), but honestly, that is what has led me to becoming a coach. I was always chasing something that I didn’t know what it was…until now. I will continue to nurture and improve myself and my skills, because I really do love seeing the growth and things I have overcome. I want to be the very best version of myself, and what lights me up is really putting the work in and knowing that I am a strong woman.

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Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?

A: One of the biggest things I’ve learned through personal development is that real change happens when you decide to show up for yourself. For so long, I was stuck, thinking I wasn’t where I should be, frustrated with life, and waiting for things to just click. Spoiler: Nothing clicked until I started putting in the work—learning about myself, facing the hard truths, and unlearning the patterns that had me trapped in that endless cycle of “not good enough.”

Once I got into personal development, things started shifting. I learned that I wasn’t powerless, and I didn’t have to wait around for life to change. I could take control of the narrative and create the life I actually wanted. It’s funny because once you start working on yourself, you realize just how much power you’ve been giving away. And here’s the thing: it’s not some overnight, magical transformation. It’s daily work.

Journaling was one of the things that helped me process my thoughts and emotions. It wasn’t just about writing; it was about understanding myself on a deeper level. Asking myself the tough questions—like, what do I really want? What’s been holding me back? Once I started being honest with myself, I could see the areas where I needed to make changes. Mindset work was a game-changer, too. Shifting from seeing failures as catastrophic to viewing them as lessons was a whole new world for me. I stopped being so hard on myself and started embracing the idea that I didn’t need to have everything figured out right away. The more I leaned into that, the less afraid I became of taking risks.

I also learned the importance of setting boundaries—saying “no” without feeling guilty. Seriously, once you start protecting your energy and stop over-committing to things that don’t align with your goals or values, life gets a whole lot better. And let’s talk about the importance of investing in learning—whether it’s through books, courses, or working with a coach. Personal development isn’t a one-time thing. It’s an ongoing process, and the more you learn, the more you grow. Oh, and gratitude. That was a game-changer, too. Shifting my focus away from what was lacking and learning to appreciate the good things in my life completely flipped my perspective. The point is, personal development is all about consistently showing up for yourself, making small changes, and staying open to growth. The more you put in, the more you get out. It’s about taking control of your own story and realizing that you can create the life you want, even if you have to start from scratch.

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Q: What does feminism mean to you? 

A: To me, feminism is about choice and freedom. It’s about owning your voice, your decisions, and your path without feeling the pressure to conform to what society expects of you. Feminism means breaking away from the idea that there’s a set timeline or a “right” way to live, especially for women. It’s about reclaiming the narrative, ditching those boxes that tell us we need to have it all figured out, or that success means ticking off someone else’s checklist.

Feminism is also about support. It’s lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. It’s challenging the bullshit comparisons and judgments we face daily—whether it’s about our careers, relationships, or bodies—and creating spaces where women feel heard, understood, and valued. At the core of it, feminism is about equality, yes, but also empowerment. It’s the belief that we get to decide what makes us happy, what drives us, and what’s worth our time. It’s knowing that our worth doesn’t hinge on external validation or meeting someone else’s expectations. It’s the freedom to be unapologetically yourself, no matter what.

MORE FROM PHILOMENA: First of all thank you for taking the time–time is so precious, so I really appreciate yours. But also, for you still reading, take a moment, think, are you happy? If the answer is yes–FANTASTIC!! If it is no–please then ask yourself another question: What will make me happy? Then….GO DO THAT.

Get in Touch:

My website: https://www.philomenaoreillycoaching.com/ 

My Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/philomena.o.reilly.7/ 

My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/philomena01/ 

My Free eBook: https://www.philomenaoreillycoaching.com/general-9 

My Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2540181969506488/

Thanks for reading!