Q and A with Abiola from Lagos State, Nigeria

“I want children to seek help if they are being abused.”

Q: Tell us about yourself.

A: I have a passion for children and business. I am currently working in a school, but I am not a part of the full-time teaching staff. I found my passion for business when I started being immersed in a business environment when my husband introduced me to his business. Since then, I have started learning about online business.

Q: What were your younger years like?

A: I must confess to you that my younger years were tough. My primary education was rough because of a constantly changing of environment (by moving from one state to another). My upbringing was not good at all because, when my parents separated, my dad took me to my stepmom, and some years later, I was raised by my father alone with my stepbrothers. What impacted my life to where I am now is my passion for children, which led me to the school.

Q: What is something valuable you’d like others to know?

A: I would like others to learn from my growing up because, when I mention my younger years were tough, it is comprised of so many things I went through. Most especially, my teenage years were rough. I think I would not have been sexually abused if my parents had not separated. I want children to seek help if they are being abused.

Q: What does feminism mean to you?
A: Feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities. It’s about respecting diverse women’s experiences, identities knowledge, and strengths, and striving to empower all women to realize their full rights.

ADVICE FOR SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE WHO IS SEXUALLY ABUSED from Abiola:
If someone has been sexually abused, it can be extremely emotional, scary, confusing, and possibly shocking. Some of the best advice is to first listen to them, and tell them that the assault was not their fault and that they did nothing wrong. And also reassure the person that they’re cared for and loved. We should provide unconditional support in terms of counseling and medical support by encouraging them to seek medical attention. Sexually abused people should be advised to know the kind of friends they mingle with because some of the abuse (sexual as well as other kinds of abuse) often comes from friends. Since indecent dressing can also contribute to abuse, most especially here in Africa, they should be advised to dress in clothes that fully cover their body on some occasions. Also, they should reduce the amount of alcohol they drink when they’re alone with strangers. What sexually abused victims really need is love.

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